15 August 2007

10 Easy Steps to Becoming a Super Geek!

"'Cause she's a Super Geek! Super Geek! She's Super Geekin', Yow!"

The above is part of the original, little-known lyrics Rick James originally wrote for the song that would eventually become known as Superfreak. Personally, I preferred the Super Geek angle.

Another of my nicknames among friends is Super Geek. Yes, I am a geek (Duh!). I am very proud, in fact, to call myself a geek. Back in the '80s, we were ridiculed, ostracized, and generally hidden from public view. Our families were ashamed and we had to hide our love of word problems. To admit you were a geek was to admit that you had no social life, no hope for a spouse (or sex life), and no hope that you would ever get out of your high-water corduroy pants. It was hard being a geek back then. Today, though, it's a different story. Geeks are admired, looked upon with respect, and a few have even hit the big time with extra-large bank accounts. (Bill Gates? Anyone? Anyone?)

A handful of us geeks, though, hold the special title of "Super Geek" and for those of you jealous enough to want this title for yourselves, I have included 10 easy steps you can follow to become a Super Geek.

1. Get accepted into Mensa. (Bonus: Join while in elementary school!)

2. Regularly watch Star Trek TV shows and movies as well as the Star Wars movies. (Bonus: Admit to your Captain Kirk crush.) (Triple geek score: Name your kids Luke and Leia.)

3. Read A LOT of science fiction. (Bonus: Write a term paper on the religious and ecological messages found in Frank Herbert's Dune.)

4. Go to Space Camp. (Bonus: Meet your future spouse at Space Camp.)

5. Get a degree in physics. (Bonus: Develop a Unified Field Theory and rub Professor Stephen Hawking's face in it!)

6. Get published in a major science journal. (Bonus: Get published in Discover magazine.)

7. Prominently display old college Physics/Math text books in your home or office. (Bonus: Point out to friends and family that you found a mistake in one or more said books and the publisher had to print an update!)

8. Attend at least one sci-fi convention in your lifetime. (Bonus: Travel around the country, following your favorite sci-fi personality to each and every convention at which they're appearing, and attend said conventions while dressed as a Stormtrooper or Wookie.)

9. Get your picture taken with a sci-fi personality (i.e., William Shatner, Patrick Stewart, etc.) (Bonus: Get your picture taken with Gil Gerard (a.k.a. Buck Rogers).) (Triple geek score: Get Gil to check out your chest in said picture.)

10. Design a computer circuit board. (Bonus: Get the damned thing to actually work!)

And there you have it, your 10 simple steps to becoming a Super Geek, with some bonus points added to push you to the status of Geek God(dess). That, of course, is a level at which you are worshiped throughout all of geekdom and once a year lower-status geeks burn their pocket protectors and scientific calculators in your name!

"Son of Jor-El, kneel before Zod!"


JB said...

Wow... Dead on.

Unknown said...

Alas, I will never be a Super Geek. Le sigh.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

Wow. I thought my mad blogging skills were cool. May I now bow down and worship at the Temple of the SuperGeek. But only if you let me watch some Star Trek reruns while drinking coffee with you.