25 November 2007

I'm Such a Geek

Now, I know we've already established that I'm a big geek. Super geek-like, even. At times I'm proud of my geekness. I wear it on my sleeve for all to see. At other times, though, I want to hide my geek, stuff it in a closet underneath the dry cleaning. Sometimes, it's just not a pretty sight.

See, I'm sure we all have a back-up Christmas item. You know what I mean. The thing you always want, but will probably never get, but when you can't think of what to tell people to give you, or you're reaching, really stretching, you rattle off this item to whomever has asked. They snort in return and get you a can of cocktail nuts.

For most of us ladies it's probably a diamond ring, or a house in some tropical locale, or maybe even lunch with Mr. Insert-Name-of-Famous-Good-Looking-Movie-Star-Here (or, dear God, for some of you, Fabio - yeesh). Nope. Nada. For me, it would be a first edition copy of Dune by Frank Herbert.

See, I'm a big science fiction nut and my favorite book of all time is Dune. I don't know why, just love it. The more I read it (I've lost count how many times I've read the damned thing), the more I like it and get out of it. Herbert was an f-ing genius. Tolkien hated him which is probably why I can't stand Tolkien (ducking as Rings fans chuck Gollum action figures at me). My friend Reed purchased a 1st edition copy of Dune several years ago. He would periodically bring it in to work, let me fondle it, and endlessly taunt me. Bastard. (Side note: Reed also has a letter written by Tolkien to the publisher telling them he read Dune and hated it. Ass. Hope he enjoys being surrounded by orcs in Hell!) Then there's Ty-man's Uncle Bob. He, too, has a 1st edition copy purchased back in 1965 when the book came out. Whenever I visit his humble abode, Bob usually finds me in the back closet, sniffing the pages, contemplating theft. I think he's finally locked the damned thing up.

But, unless I purchase the domain name www.buyheathera1steditioncopyofdune.com, and ask every visitor to send me one dollar through PayPal, it ain't gonna happen because a half-way decent copy of this 1st edition book goes for... are you ready? Take a deeeeep breath.



Yeah. The unattainable. I could probably front a house in Bonaire easier and more cheaply than a 1st edition copy of Dune.

Alas. Looks like Uncle Bob's copy is due for another sniff. Reed! I'm comin' for ya, baby! Get out your Dune and the Clorox wipes! It's gonna be a long visit!


Avitable said...

I'm anti-Tolkien, too! And I think Peter Jackson is a hack.

Creative-Type Dad said...

Fabio has a last name?!?

Unknown said...

You never cease making me laugh... I'm holding my Dune and my 1st British Hobbit right now... think the latter's worth a tad more, but the Dune smells better... Snoogans!!!!

Not Afraid to Use It said...

Awww man! I can't believe how expensive that book is!!! If I even win the lottery, that book is YOURS baby!

Unknown said...

Holy schnikees! I can think of so many better things to do with that kind of money...like get you $6500 worth of Soccer Mom gear. :-)