25 February 2008

Reunited, and it feels so good!

Oh, yeah. That's right. Me and Not Afraid to Use It? Together again. And Fab? Me eating Mrs. Fab's soup?

Yeah, whateva. Just wrap your noggin around this sordid tale.

So, we hooked up on Friday. Lunch at the Cheesecake Factory. See, NATUI is in town for the next couple of weeks while her worldly possessions are shipped from one end of the country to the other (brave woman). Mr. NATUI has been transferred and NATUI and the kids are shacking up with the 'rents. Cool.

Anyhoo, I digress. The kids and I headed down to Perimeter mall for a fabulous lunch of toys on the floor, whole milk dribbles, and zwieback toast goobers. NATUI was a trooper. Even though she's a mom of two, this experience allowed her to say to the hubby, with confidence, "Hell, no! Three ain't the magic number!" I'm so happy to be a poster-child for oral contraceptives!

So, the bill came and went with our American Express Delta Skymiles cards.

Yes. We have the same credit card.

See where this is going? 'Cause we sure as hell didn't!

NATUI hung with the twins while I carted J-man off to the ladies' room for a diaper change. Then, we traded kids and off I went with Bubba and Miss-Miss for their diaper changes (GOD! I need to potty-train them.). While this occurred, our cards came back. NATUI signed off on one receipt, I signed off the other. Off we went for minivan retrieval and the strapping in of kids (Seriously, 5-point restraint systems? Getting my kids into the car is like getting three drivers ready for a NASCAR race.) An hour later, we were off.

Later that evening, I head off to Kroger for the requisite milk, bananas, and baby food. Swipe the card in the self-checkout, walk over to sign the receipt, look down and realize, "Hey, wait! My name's not NATUI!?!? It's CMG!"

Dudes, OK, I realize her real name isn't NATUI. Seriously. It's not on her credit card, either. Like I'm gonna reveal that here. I mean, I guess I could make up a name. Hortense Winklestein. Prudence Finkleman. Nah. Maybe not.

So, anyway, I've just hollered out that "Holy crap! This isn't my card! I must have grabbed NATUI's card by mistake! She's friggin' two hours from here! How are we gonna exchange cards?!? Yo! Kroger lady! I need to cancel this charge and ring everything up again and charge it on my card."

Her response? You're gonna love this. This is why identity theft is soooo rampant in this country.

"I can't cancel the charge. Customer service is closed. Just sign the receipt with her name."

Seriously. I kid you not. Welcome to the 21st century. I may as well go ahead and publish my Social Security number on this site. It's 2....

Really? You thought I'd just put it out there? Not bloody likely.

So, Saturday I drove to south of Atlanta, hooked up with NATUI, met her adorable little ones (heard all about Little Bird's baby doll), and had this orgasmic pork burrito at a local Mexican restaurant. We figured out our illegal charges to one another's card (my card took a trip to Wal-Mart and Kohl's) and said good-bye, double-checking our wallets.

So, which of you blogging buddies wants to hook up with me next?


Not Afraid to Use It said...

I still won't carry cash to our next soirée, but if you use your MasterCard like you promised, all will be well! LOL

I so enjoyed your little ones, but I did indeed tell Mr. NATUI that he was spot on when he said that two was our limit. Just remind me not to drink the water at your house. I don't want to have any "surprises".

Avitable said...

Poor Hortense.

RiverPoet said...

Wow, I read both sides of this sordid tale and I'll be bringing cash if we should ever meet for coffee! ;-)

Scary to think it's so easy to get them turned around like that, but when you have the same card, I imagine it can get sticky!

Oh, and I'm so JEALOUS that you guys got to sit down in person for some CWAWFEE TAWK.

Peace - D

Unknown said...

I don't have a blog, but can we still "hook up?" :wink, wink:

Ok, Where Was I? said...

If I were closer I'd totally let you steal my credit card and try to use it at a store. Ha, jokes on you--it won't work!

So glad to hear the itching is all gone. And no, I've never said that to anyone before.

The Ferryman said...

Damn, looks like we got off damn easy. And now you expect us to come up there and hang with you and take a chance?

Mrs. Booms said...

Hey, If I get to leave with your credit card then I'm totally game for hooking up!

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

NATUI - Ha! Deal!

Avitable - Yeah, we worked it out, though.

Momma - Hee hee!

Teri - Aw, baby. We can always hook up! Booya!

OK, where was I? - Now, that would be cruel! :-)

Fab - I promise, cash only when you're here!

Shar - Done!

Unknown said...

I am J.E.A.L.O.U.S. in SOOOOO many ways! UGH!


Vulgar Wizard said...

I don't have an AmEx card. *pout*

Vonda said...

Wow...Cheesecake Factory! We sure do miss The States. So glad you were able to spend some time with NATUI. -V

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Andrea - Just hold on, hon. No quick promises, but I'm working on a Memphis trip. We'll see...

Vulgar Wizard - You got a MasterCard or Visa? I can switch those really easily, too!

Vonda - And the States miss you! :-(