08 February 2008

You're Gonna What?!? To My Where?!?

Wow. Still reeling.



Went to see Dr. Miracle yesterday. He's the endocrinologist/OB-GYN/endoscopic surgeon who diagnosed my PCOS and helped me, and the Ty-man, to conceive and have our wonderful children.

He's their honorary uncle.

He's my savior.

He wants to perform a perineum reconstruction.


Me too.

Basically, that "wall" that separates my vajay-jay (oh, GOD, how I cannot type that word here when referring to my own genitalia) from the poop shoot (again with the non-use of physiological terms) has been worn down and torn from birthing three kids, and not properly sewn back up post kid-birthing. That separation is dangerously diminished. And Dr. Miracle wants to repair it.

OK, I get that something of mine is damaged (and we're NOT talking about my brain - yet).

I get that if it's not fixed, I could really be in trouble.


When he told me he wanted to do... THAT to my... YOU KNOW I just...


It was the equivalent of telling Ty-man he might have to get a vasectomy and watching him purse his lips and cross his legs.

Oh, yeah.

So, suffice it to say, I'm doing a lot of deep thinking, nodding of my head, pursing of my lips, and free-basing of chocolate.

I'll get back to you on this.


Military Mom said...

Nothing to say but...Damn.

So sorry. Still trying to get the idea out of my head. Feel free to free-base all the chocolate all you need. No other alternative.

MochaMamaX2 said...

Wow. You have just blogged about my greatest fear. WARNING: Ladies and gentlemen the following is WTFMI: When I had my little one, I was TERRIFIED that they would snip "it" to make room since I went natural-ish. Anyway, it tore on it's own and I got stitches (OUCH!) but it healed nicely. Just know that I TOTALLY feel you on this one and will be free-basing chocolate on your behalf. In short, I got your back . . . side. :-) (I couldn't resist)

The Ferryman said...

That sounds...like...something.

I will have to ask Mrs. Fab about the procedure. I am sure she knows all about them from her job.

Unknown said...

Oh.Mah.Gawd. Or should I say "holy crap." It's too bad you didn't know about this Wednesday. We could have added the topic to our other wonderful dinner conversations. :-)

Seriously though, sooooo sorry. Let me know if you need me to pick up some more chocolate for you from my dealer.

Miss Britt said...

Pursing my lips and crossing my legs here on your behalf.

Gypsy said...


Avitable said...

See if they'll outfit it with copper siding this time to make sure it lasts another 36 years.

Cricky said...

ok, I'm sorry but Avi's comment made me piss myself laughing...

Heather honey...I'm just speechless my vajayjay hurts for you.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

Oh honey! I have probably have to go see Dr. Miracle when I am visiting my folks to pick up some meds, so if you need me for moral support at any time, I am there for ya babe. But don't actually get the surgery done until AFTER we get to have our CCF night! LOL

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Military Mom - Free-basing as we speak.

Deniece (Hee hee!) - Backside. Girl, I'm gonna have to hurt ya! :-)

Fab - When you find out from her, let me know!

Teri - Dark. Ritter Sport. With hazelnuts. I'm waiting.

Britt - Thanks, hon!

Gypsy - Yeah, that about sums it up!

Avitable - Copper siding? I was thinking concrete.

Just a Girl - I know, I was laughing too! Sorry about your panties.

NATUI - Nothing to fear! Surgery won't be until early April or June! We're set!

Andrea - Yeah, poo in the vajay-jay. That is a sobering thought.

Anonymous said...

WOW. I'm actually glad that I had c-sections...and those really sucked.

My husband is getting neutered next weekend, shh...haven't blogged about it yet.

Sweet that you think you can compare the two. Maybe I'm just a bit unsympathetic, but you already gave birth AND you have to endure pain in the nether regions again . Men only have a snip and a snip, sit with a bag of frozen peas for 24 four hours and are back to every day life. I don't see an equal comparison ...just for the record.

Um, good luck. Need a margarita to mix with that chocolate?