04 March 2008

A Shining City Upon a Hill

So, I've been thinking, about all you blog peeps and how I wish we all lived closer to one another so that we could get together once a week and hang. Trash the local Chili's, babysit each other's kids, bail Fab out of jail, you know, the usual.

So, here's the deal. We need to all pitch in and buy about 30 or 40 or 1,000 acres, somewhere out west. Montana, maybe, where it's not too crowded. We each build a house to suit our needs. Then, we work on our community. Of course, we would make sure we have DSL connections for our ultra-fast PCs and Macs, so that our blogging could occur as quickly as possible without interruption. And who would live in my wonderful blogging compound? ('Cause, let's face it, it would be a compound. Barbed wire, guard dogs, the works. We want the ATF out there on a regular basis, worried about our cache of illegal automatic weapons when in fact it's just Avitable and his Diet Coke-hoarding fetish.)

So, first there would be me, the founder of this kick-ass neighborhood. Thanks to the Ty-man, we would have an awesome movie theater with La-Z-Boys to seat everyone. And? I would make sure to organize monthly outings to sci-fi conventions. I will also be this community's foremost expert on the Tudor dynasty. That's got to be useful, right?!?!?

Now, I shall proceed alphabetically (by blog name):

David over at authorblog would be our resident photographer and expert of really bad word puns! :-)

Avitable would, of course, be the comic book store proprietor. And the Diet Coke distributor. For this will be the official drink of our shining city.

Brenda over at B'z Place would own the community's tea shop and, since she's a preacher's wife, would keep us all in line!

Dave2 at Blogography would keep the Mac geeks up and running and make sure we're stocked with Hello Kitty gummi candies.

Shar at Crazy Man Jones would be the supplier of kickin' headbands for all us ladies (and Fab) and would supply the peanut butter cups to go along with our Diet Coke stash.

Tony at Creative-Type Dad would supply potty-training for all our toddlers.

TeranceDubya at House-Dad Chronicals would supply furniture modification services for those of us with expensive furniture and the need to drill holes in all of it.

Our friends, the Livingstons, would fly in from Germany, and be our community's voices of reason. Poor things will probably not be heard over the din.

Lolcats will provide feline pets for all the homes.

Military Mom will give us kick-ass air support thanks to the USAF and, after her stint in Alaska and North Dakota, can battle any snow problems we may encounter.

Britt's job will be to kick Avitable's ass on a regular basis (which she does so well).

Mom to the Fey will be our Wiccan representative and with her general sweetness, will calm our community on a daily basis.

I hear MommyCosm knows of a wormhole-type portal to Aruba. Yeah, she'll be the keeper of this all-important doorway.

Jayna over at My Longest Year will take care of the sewing/seamstress stuff and keep us dosed on Vick's humidifier drops.

NATUI will tell us moms when we're being assholes and will be sure to teach us Swedish.

Just a Girl at Nothing to Show but This Brand New Tattoo will customize our Blogger templates whenever we need it and critique our tattoo designs.

OK, Where Was I? Her job is to bring us James Spader. That is all.

Fab over at Pointless Drivel? Yeah, he'll be the mayor. Britt will be vice-mayor.

Momma at Poetic License will write our story and keep us connected to the Buddha.

And Gypsy at StrangeDarkGypsyGirl? She'll own the sex shop.

I'm excited! So, when are we moving?


Avitable said...

Sounds like a deal! I want to be an enforcer of some type, too, though. I'm good at that!

Creative-Type Dad said...

I always imagined being the guy that runs the KFC...

B said...

Ooo...I want to live in this wonderful city! But I have to be close to Avitable and Crazy Man Jones, cause, even though I love tea parties, I really don't drink tea. But I luhhhvvv Diet Coke (actually prefer diet pepsi) and peanut butter cups. So I gotta be close to the suppliers.

RiverPoet said...

Ooh! That's a plan.

Once upon a time, I hung out with MommyCosm next to the worm-hole to Aruba, 'cause Montana is friggin' cold in the winter, yo!

What a cool idea! I happen to think we already have a little village, though. And no one gets to see what kind of jammies I'm wearin'!

Peace - D

The Ferryman said...

As Mayor, I assume I get to sleep with the female residents when the mood strikes me?

Miss Britt said...

Montana? Doesn't it snow there?

Gypsy said...

Sign me up! :)

Not Afraid to Use It said...

Does this mean I get some kind of whipping post in the town square to take care of the bitchy moms when their assholedness goes too far? Or would Avitable fight me for the honor? What a pair we would make in our black robes knocking on doors.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

And does this mean that Jeremy from your Decathlon would be our "spiritual representative"? LOL

Military Mom said...

Hate to break this to you Heather, but snow is a deal breaker! If we are going to do this, let's do it right, and make it near a BEACH, as far away from any snow as possible!

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Avitable - OK, you can be the local sheriff. That would be cool.

Creative-Type Dad - Ooooo, that's not a bad idea! We need some fast food and a KFC would be great!

B - Done!

Momma - True. No peeking in one another's windows when it's virtual!

Fab - You can sleep with anyone you want... as long as they give you permission. Or you slip a mickey in their drink. Either way...

Britt - Yes, Montana has snow. But, it has low population numbers AND we'll have a portal to Aruba!

Gypsy - SWEET!

NATUI - Whipping post, stockade, hanging tree, anything you need. You and Avitable can come up with your uniforms. And, no, little Andrew will not be part of our community. In fact, one of our bylaws will be to stop Andrew once he reaches adulthood!

Military Mom - Hey, we've got a portal to Aruba! Not to worry! :-)

Unknown said...

Dude! I'm so there! Except for the snow thing... Could I live at the other end of the Aruban portal? Unless the portal was one that transported the Aruban climate to our little section of Montana... Now THERE'S an idea!

jayna said...

I'm SURE there's an empty tropical island somewhere to be found . . .

Dave2 said...

Hello Kitty gummies have gelatin... maybe we could use Hello Kitty Pop Tarts instead!

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Jayna - But that's why we have the Aruba portal. Summers in Montana, winters in Aruba! :-)

Dave2 - OK. Hello Kitty poptarts would be awesome! w00t!

Anonymous said...

I'm SO in!

But, since it's my Aruban portal, I'd like to be on the welcoming end... before I hear any complaints, it's our tradition to greet our guests with sangria when they arrive.

Oh, and my husband can build the restaurants in our little city. Let's make him useful.

Mrs. Booms said...


From Waco To Wacko, the Feds would love us

Ok, Where Was I? said...

Ok, I'm a little late to this post, but I'm excited nonetheless. You can count me in as long as there's that portal to someplace warm. James Spader is already in my trunk, so that part will be easy.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

MommyCosm - Oh, hell yeah! Sangria sounds great! Hubby building restaurants? He's in, baby!

Betsey - The Feds would be begging us to remodel all cities after ours.

OK, Where Was I? - Sweet! Can't wait to meet Mr. Shore!

Cricky said...

As usual, I showed up way too late. Hopefully I didn't miss the bus.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Just A Girl - Nope, you can't miss this bus. Continual arrivals and departures. We'll get you there! :-)