14 May 2008

Could We Make a Deal?

Whew. Sorry about yesterday's post. I needed that. Sometimes, I just need to purge all those fears and insecurities that I know I'm having because I'm convinced that I'm the only woman/mother on the planet who has them. Then, I hear from all of you, my wonderful blog friends and family, the people who keep me connected to the world outside my four walls and who let me know there's more to life than grilled cheese sandwiches and dirty diapers and that I'm not the only woman/mother thinking these thoughts and having these doubts and worries. And I thank you for that and for your love and support. You give me much strength.

OK, getting too sappy around here. How about a snicker or two?

My in-laws (parents and brother) are all building wine cellars in their homes. I think it's awesome but it's not for me or the Ty-man. We just aren't wine drinkers. I wish we were. It seems so grown-up to be a wine drinker. I envy all those people who sit in Italian restaurants and order the house red to complement their dinner and then actually savor the taste! What a concept. My wine drinking likes include... well, none. I just don't like the flavor. Now, margaritas? That's a different story altogether.

I am, at least, a coffee drinker. Coffee I like. Coffee I savor. I buy the coffee in whole bean form, keep the bag in the fridge, grind the beans just before brewing, and take a big whiff of the so-thick-you-can-stand-your-spoon-up brew just before sipping. Ah. That's the life.

To keep coffee fresh, it should be kept in a cool place. I keep mine in the fridge but I'm wondering about a coffee humidor. Ever been to a cigar store? They typically have big walk-in humidor, set to the perfect temperature and humidity, to keep the cigars fresh. So, I think I need a walk-in fridge, in my basement, with large wooden bins of coffee beans, ready to be scooped, ground, and brewed to my satisfaction. And where will I get such large quantities of coffee beans? (Not to worry NATUI, you're off the hook.)

Columbian cocaine smugglers.


Don't those guys use coffee beans to throw off the drug-sniffing dog's scent so they don't get caught with a butt-load of cocaine? So, here's my thought. Any of you cocaine smugglers want to get rid of your coffee beans after you've handed off the drugs, just shoot me an e-mail. I'll be glad to take the coffee beans off your hands for a decent price and that's one less thing for you to worry about. Cool?

I'll be waiting to hear from you!


RiverPoet said...

It's official. You will never get a government clearance with a blog post like this1 :-)

I loves me some coffee, too. Drinking some right now, in fact. But if you want to be a real coffee snob? Get some green coffee beans and roast them in your kitchen. They sell coffee roasters that are a lot like popcorn poppers. You can get just the roast you want. There. Now Ty-man knows what to get you for Christmas!

Peace - D

Avitable said...

I don't know any oenophiles who would order a house red, actually. :)

Gypsy said...

You could always get a margarita slushee machine. ;)

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Momma - Dang, and I wanted clearance to visit Area 51. *Sniff* Seriously? Green coffee beans? That I roast? Gotta look into that...

Avitable - Smart ass... :-)

Gypsy - You are such a friggin' tease! :-)

Donna said...

I can't wait to find out what kind of referrals this post is going to get!

I've drank red wine a time or two, but it's not something I would sip on a regular basis. I drink for refreshment.
My husband and his brother made wine a few years ago and it was really good - especially the cherry wine!
Unfortunately, the only reason why the decided to make wine from the cherries was because a storm had knocked the tree down and they figured something needed to be done with.

The Ferryman said...

I am thinking about building a wine cellar and stocking it with nothing but Boone's Farm and MD 20/20.

HEATHER said...

Mary Hunt who does the website cheapskatemonthly.com has a site that she get the green beans from and she says to use an old air popper and to do it outside, because the beans will produce a big amount of smoke.
I agree with you, I am all about the coffee, wine not so much.
I love Fab's idea of a wine cellar with nothing but Boone's Farm, and MD 20/20. But he forgot to add Thunderbird and Two Buck Chuck!!

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Donna - Oh, the referrals are gonna be sweet! And? That cherry wine sounds YUM!

Fab - Oh, awesome. I'm visiting with my Varsity dogs, the perfect complement!

Other Heather - Thanks for the info on the green coffee beans and don't encourage Fab. Seriously. :-)

.:| Melissa.Mizladytaz |:. said...


I don't much care for wine either. Unless it's a HOMEMADE wine cooler. Cheap ass red rose and store brand diet lemon lime soda! Excellent stuff! Nor do I much care for coffee either! Unless it's a REALLY cold day. And even then, I like just a wee bit of coffee with my sugar and cream/creamer (vanilla hazelnut, please) that or hot chocolate coffee. However, I DO absolutely LOVE the smell of coffee! If only it tasted like it smells! YummaY!

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Melissa - I, too, tend to be a "would you like coffee with your cream and sugar" kind of gal.