25 August 2008

Entertainment for the Masses

Saturday was a normal, average, everyday Saturday here at Casa del CMG* - kid-rearing, late shower, giving the psycho his Prozac, stuff.

And then? At promptly 6PM? I put on my proton pack and got ready for some local ghost hunting. OK, I didn't put on a proton pack. I can't get a license for said nuclear accelerator, so I had to leave it at home, but I did pack my digital voice recorder, my digital camera, some cash for coffee, and off I went to a private residence in a suburb of northwest Georgia to track down whatever it is that is scaring the shit out of this particular family.

Would you like to know the best part of the evening? No, it wasn't the full-body apparitions (none) or the disembodied voices (nada) or the cup levitating off the kitchen counter (don't I wish). It was the next-door, and the across-the-street, and the diagonally-across-the-street neighbors. In the driveway. With folding camp chairs. And a beach umbrella (that bitch Fay). And beer and wine. Watching us watch four infra-red camera feeds. Until 1:30AM.

I. Shit. You. Not.

I'm not quite sure what they expected by watching us. Bleeding walls? The Stay-Puft man? Local ghost hunters running and screaming from the house? To be honest, true and honest, ghost hunting is six to eight hours of sheer boredom interspersed with random seconds of racing hearts. It's the equivalent of watching paint dry (but not as bad as watching the NASA channel).

But the absolute, crazy-best part of the evening? When one of the neighbors took up residence in the garage with us, quietly watching the monitors behind us, and suddenly, without warning shouted, "Did ya'll see that orb?"

I. Shit. You. Not.**

So, if you ever find yourself looking for something to do on a quiet Saturday night, look up a local ghost hunting group and camp out while they investigate. Make sure you bring a beer. Or ten. It's going to be a looooong night.

* I didn't take Spanish. Is "del" correct? Frack if I know.

** Ghost hunters, like us, who investigate with the purpose of debunking the ghost first, proving its existence second, feel that orbs do not indicate paranormal activity. What they do typically indicate is a rather dusty environment.


penny said...

I wish we had a local ghost hunter group! Of course here the spectators wouldn't be just the neighbors with beer and wine. We'd have half the town sitting in their lawn chairs and the kids would be fetching their parents beer to go with the Everclear they've been drinking all day.

Orbs! orbs! (In my opinion) You can tell the quality of a ghost hunting show by the presence, or absence, of "OMG there's an orb!" and they are actually serious. If they were a sign of paranormal activity then I could charge admission to my house!

HEATHER said...

That is too funny!

Bucky said...

I would have taken that opportunity to burst outta the front door, run across the street and across the road screaming to the top of my lungs that everyone was gonna die.

Now THAT would have been fun.

Avitable said...

Now you have a fanclub. Pretty soon you'll be as famous as TAPS.

Expat No. 3699 said...

Yeah, I think I would have messed with the spectators.

Anonymous said...

Ghost hunting!

I'd pull up a chair for that! I've watched my fingernails grow, jello shrivel away and the proverbial drying paint. I'd be up for a wild adventure like that!!!

Gypsy said...

I'd love to do ghost hunting, but probably only with you. And lots of wine.

Miss Britt said...

Del is correct if the translation is "Of The Proper" - because it's a combination of de and El.

I don't THINK I would have used it in this case.

Molly's Mom said...

What a little movie I had going in my head as I read this! Were they also wearing nice wife-beaters, or maybe beer logo shirts with the sleeves simply ripped off?

Robin said...

The correct way to say it would be "Casa de la CMG" because you are a female. Del would be de + el, used for males.

Avitable said...

The correct way would be Casa de CMG, with no "el" or "la" because it's a proper name.

Anonymous said...

That was funny! Orbs! We have orbs!! Am I gonna die? Well, yes .. eventually. ;)