11 November 2008


“You may all go to Hell and I will go to Texas.” –Davy Crockett

This past weekend, the Ty-man and I found ourselves in Dallas, Texas, for a three-day weekend get-away. Why Dallas? you ask. Hmmmmm, could it have been the wide-open plains? Nope. The lure of cowboy boots and Texan drawls? Mmmm, maybe. The Dallas 30th Anniversary Cast Reunion and Southfork B-B-Q? Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner, ladies and gentlemen!

Now, you ask, do I have pictures from said extravaganza? Yes. Are they in this post? No. And why not? The event was a complete, total, and utter bust, a deep disappointment, and a clusterfuck of massive proportions. Want to spend two or more hours of your life reading message board posts written by the upset masses including moi? Click here. Otherwise, it's not worth your time. But, take heart, the rest of our trip was a great time and I present you with the following pictures:

I swear, the Ty-man can sniff out an aviation museum within a 10-mile radius. Here's the man himself with his favorite plane, the F104 Starfighter. Ah, it's love!

And if the Ty-man gets to see old airplanes? Then I get to see the Dallas World Aquarium. Wook at dat otter! Isn't he just the sweetest wittle fewa? Awww, I just wanna fold him up in my itty-bitty pocket and take him home! Yes I do!

Um, clean-up on aisle 5 because this croc? Was the biggest damned reptile I've ever seen. Even Steve Irwin would have wet himself.

Opus? Do I know Opus?!? Lady, how many fracking times a day do you think I get asked that question? I don't get paid enough for this bull! Get outta here before I crap on your new cowboy boots!

And speaking of boots, aren't these adorable? I giggled the whole time!

We went to the Sixth Floor Museum, which takes up the entire sixth floor of the old Texas Schoolbook Depository. The corner where Lee Harvey Oswald shot his rifle has been completely preserved and the museum is a wonderful exhibit of JFK, his life and works, and his death.

The grassy knoll. Dealey Plaza. And that X on the pavement? Yeah.

The Galleria Dallas. What can I say except that when I die I hope Heaven is modeled after this place. A shopper's paradise with an ice rink! And a Zamboni! Ahhhh....

The day after the fiasco, we returned to Southfork for a few daytime photo ops. Ah, yes. The house. And you know what? Through the magic of TV, the room square-footage was much greater than the actual house square-footage. It's called wide-angle lenses and Hollywood sets. Who knew that Southfork was the TARDIS of the 1980s nighttime soaps?

And, of course, no Ewing B-B-Q was ever complete without somebody ending up in the pool. And no, it wasn't me.

And that was our trip in a boot. We're back and none the worse for wear.


HEATHER said...

YOU ROTTEN WEASEL-Why didn't you let me know you were going?! ;-)
I would have loved to have been there!
I did get to see the ranch back in 1985 when I was 14 and my grand-daddy had a WW2 bomber association meeting there. It doesn't look like it has changed a bit!
Glad you and Ty-man were able to get away and have a good time!

HEATHER said...

Well I just re-read your post and see that the Dallas event was a bust. That's sad, but I guess it would be hard to live up to anyone's expectations of a Southfork Party!
I loved that Galleria mall when we went there. I would totally take up residence in that place if I lived near there! ;-)

Anonymous said...

I thought Texas and hell were the same place.

Though I do dig aquariums and used to watch Dallas religiously.

Avitable said...

I love to go to aquariums - they're so much more fun than zoos, and they don't try to charge me twice. Once to get in and once to get out.

Anonymous said...

Glad you had fun in Dallas, despite the suckage of the BBQ. We have family there and used to go every year or so, but I've never been to the aquarium there...and I can't believe my cousins never took me to that mall! Adding those to my to do list.

RiverPoet said...

Sounds like you had a blast! I grew up in Texas, but it was down in Houston - hurricane alley. Believe it or not, I never took a tour of anything in Dallas. I think maybe I'll go sometime.

Peace - D

That One said...

Ah, Texas. Sometimes I really miss it.

Appears you were able to save the weekend and have a great time regardless of the disappointing reunion.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

Sorry it was such a bust. And I have to agree with A Free Man's comment. I thought Texas and Hell were synonymous. I did spend a bit of time at my cousin's palatial house in The Woodlands. That, I could do again.

kaila said...

I read about this event a few months ago in the planning stages, and it had clusterfuck written all over it then. Sorry 'bout that, but the rest of the trip looks like it was pretty damn cool!

Expat No. 3699 said...

Glad you had fun in spite of the BBQ bust.

My word verification is: makebed!

Gypsy said...

My mother was working at Parklane hospital the day they brought JFK in. Weird, eh?

Glad you had a nice trip!