10 December 2008

Madame Secretary

I'm a wuss. Total, complete, utter wuss. If you ask me to do something? And I'm too busy? I'll say no.

But if you bat your eyes, stick out your bottom lip, squeeze out a tear or two, and beg in a whiny voice?

I'll say yes.

And thus I, Coal Miner's Granddaughter, have found myself one step away from becoming Secretary of our Home Owner's Association. An organization I hate, despise with every fiber of my being. An organization that prides itself on its fascist ideals of "No ham radio antennae on your house!" or "No flamingos!" or "No painting your house puce!"

And not only am I about to become a member of this august group, but I'm about to become Secretary. As in, "Yo! Bitch! Take notes! And while you're at it, get us some damned coffee! Cream, no sugar!"

And not only am I one step from becoming Secretary, but I had to nominate myself. Because no one stepped up to nominate anyone else. And the HOA President, my immediate next-door neighbor, and a sweet lady, pitifully begged me to nominate myself. And so I did. And I felt like the loser girl who nominates herself for homecoming queen, knowing she'll never win but wants to at least be on the ballot*.

But this time, I'll probably get elected. And there's no tiara.

I'm such a loser wuss.

*Yes, yes. I did do that. Pity me.


A Free Man said...

Hey, but look at the bright side. You get to tell people to take tacky lawn art out of their yard and dictate the color of their sheds!

Anonymous said...

This is the exact reason why I will not be attending our HOA meeting tomorrow night.
Oh, yeah, I'm a rebel...and a wuss that caves to peer pressure.

Avitable said...

Maybe your first act as Secretary should be to declare that tiaras are mandatory apparel.

Expat No. 3699 said...

Yo, I take sugar in my coffee.

RiverPoet said...

Do you have to have reading glasses on a chain, too?

I hope you're up on your shorthand skills!

Peace - D

Trukindog said...

Resist the Dark Side RESIST !

HOA's are pure concentrated EVIL !

Anonymous said...

I am such an anarchist, I'd make a royal mess of that!

kaila said...

No no no.
Can you resign after you are elected? What if you are caught using a cigar in an inappropriate manner, can you be impeached?

Anonymous said...

Just do the most abominably horrible job at it you could possibly do, and this time next year they'll be sure to nominate someone else.


Faiqa said...

Mmmhmmm. I'm volunteering for an organization on Sunday from 1-4 because I can't say no. I feel your pain.

HEATHER said...

Well just so you know, you being the secretary of the HOA is all just a part of my plan for complete and total "Heather" domination of the world! Today the HOA, in four years the White House!

Geeky Tai-Tai said...

Good luck, honey. I've done the very same, worked my ass off, and the slacker homeowners bitched about everything. It's a thankless job, but somebody's gotta do it. :P