20 February 2009

Bad. Ass.

Name: Heavy Bruiser (a.k.a. Purple Pickaxer)

Location: Gateway City. Me and Wonder Woman? Roomies. Even if that bitch does make fun of my lavender cape.

Super Power: I can split atoms. And hairs. I can manipulate time and space to go anywhen I want. And with my trusty pickaxe? Well, let's just say your forehead is puréed.

Nemeses: Dumb-ass HOA members, the physics-illiterate, people who let their kids run wild, and those "Abstinence is the only way!" jackasses.

Ladies and Dicks, I'm the Purple Pickaxer. I've got a bad-ass cape and some kickin' designer purple sunglasses. I've got the radioactive symbol on my form-fitting superhero shirt because, duh, physics geek. I carry a pickaxe to remember my coal miner grandfather and to hack the idiotic masses my enemies to bits. If you want to live? Give me a short explanation of Schrödinger's cat with no mention of kitty litter and I may spare your miserable life. Come to my HOA meeting expecting mercy? Kiss my avenging purple ass. No driveway basketball hoop for you!

Now, to just find a seamstress in time for DragonCon...

Make your own Super Hero here.


Anonymous said...


You SO are the Purple Pickaxer. That's awesome.

That One said...

Very cool!

I totally did this, posted it, and linked to you.

sybil law said...

I think we both fight for the common good. For realz.
Thank God. I'd hate to go against you.

Gypsy said...

Love the purple!

Anonymous said...

LOL - Purple RULES and you are now my favorite superhero!!!

Princess of the Universe said...

I have an outfit like that in pink...

Kevin said...

too cool. i just went with a super-game-playing geek on mine.