27 February 2009

Cat Barf*

This is Andy:

I haven't ever blogged about Andy because he's not as blog-worthy as Pirtuk. He doesn't bounce himself off shower doors, fall down stairs, or take kitty Prozac. That's because Andy is pretty laid-back. He's a senior citizen (10, people! He's 10! That's like.. 1 times 10 plus 9... carry the two... divide by pi... 56! I have a 56-year-old neutered quadruped in my house!). I did at least submit his picture to Lolcats. See?

But, Andy does have one special talent. And a nickname to go along with said talent. He barfs more than any animal I have ever seen. And considering he's the first cat I've ever owned that has made it to senior citizen status? Then I suppose this whole feline nervous stomach/anorexia thing must be working for him.

My problem with Barf Bag Andy is this. My carpet is this color:

And Andy's food is this color:

Are you telling me we can put men and women on the top of a rocket and send them into space?!? We can bullet-proof a Caddy for the Prez?!? We can eradicate smallpox?!?

But we can't develop off-white cat food? Seriously?

And don't tell me to cover my floors in hardwoods. This house is loud enough with three screaming toddlers. I don't need the screams reverberating off hardwood floors. I need them to be absorbed by soft carpet.

Guess I'll be buying stock in Spot Shot. And contemplating brown carpet.

*Yeah. Cat barf. Because I am begging for some really weird search stats.


HEATHER said...

He's a very pretty boy.
I can't believe you have off-white carpet with three kids!

Avitable said...

You should get tile and then buy a whole bunch of rugs. They're disposable!

sybil law said...

Dandy Andy!!!
He really is beautiful, though!!!

Anonymous said...

Just stop cleaning up his barf dropping spots, and eventually your carpet will be all that color. LOL!

kaila said...

Wow - I remember that LOLcat pic! How funny. I have two senior cats, the "youngest" is 11, the oldest is 15. Guess which one is the better hunter? Yeah, the 15 year old. Guess which one also has developed an urge to crap under my kitchen table? Yeah, the 15 year old....

A Free Man said...

Cats suck. Truly.


Robin said...

I had a cat for 12 years who was a chronic vomiter. She was the only cat I have ever (and will ever) had. I loved her, but I don't miss the smell of cat barf in the morning.

Trukindog said...

Instead of buying new carpet just buy a shit load of brown hair dye and apply it to the carpet with a paint roller. :)

Gypsy said...

Cat barf is really one of the grossest things ever. Worse, even, than dog barf.