![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIltAnLiOXRFHIefIz6mzWIYoh3vk3z4gFDewRfdzU90Mei9cCiWyf4L5s_JupPcqVu1EcpYj7KqsFfBTQhC3H1RKR7OrmEAzrsXFoQlcpYJEkbtvp67UxvwViMlfATbLGtkCHu4obiqc/s320/Photo+76.jpg)
She came from a long line of Dorks. Eastern-European immigrant Dorks, to be exact.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfoeC10gVunXfC9qbPQNnqQuov-BGngUXAe52e41QNE5dkIBPbAHl7uG98oXunoq4AAQYkLBL94f0CelWTmayNmh6RqpxH-iHWrU_8UlpBQujikEJCtPZ5Ge9urAkOAg77i2I8T37XP04/s320/Immigrant.jpg)
All she wanted was to be an astronaut when she grew up.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB8y3SOoL604cgM2nr1z_u5NXtxL65_2MEO9FcspGIvqBLS9Tdve6pzGUVyEQ16YFB5Wwd3X-N-s2i9JISgAwXRHRoR5rgwL1C-PLXBW52CSKdropSsojSjpvkiWyBT0CCoSWA3QXRW60/s320/Astronaut.jpg)
Or a Jedi Knight. I mean, what Dork didn't want to be a Jedi?
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihZkOnGrW53rtcD0Ea9NMBVh57gu5ajvZxyiyF8nVPrBPhYxHVBzHKXcC0LMQ7-8cRi165AfLlstpCtlEVcFw_hiwzCghZKf5A-y6xC2PAFriLXtVT7ABa862THvXMujA_WIa2NFUGu2k/s320/Jedi.jpg)
She also wanted to be on the cover of Vogue. But Vogue had a distinct no-Dork policy. They were obviously Dork-prejudiced.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiErc0qdoimRSrA3M-_xpJkcXGDIfN6sXTdjoQVsEf3nxezte6n1r1mtGUQ14inz7XC2lN7_-wg__tgpuRgyJLeeVKsf9ztif9pvnUGz7CcHaKKVvwTKfP0DTkUqMUPwaeL_Lo6QtjygSM/s320/Vogue.jpg)
Instead, Heather became a soldier of fortune fighting against Dork-injustice the world over. But that got boring.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnXLUZzpDVpj9T61hWH7sPkEKNg0KjICX3QlyK_H1zkDVI1kujJfVCqN6fgpDvAQjqKfYXCH-rZnys5BV-djKqypE66grkWhA3k9-vdOvY6zc34Iiec06dl4ClN6-fNfx6uPKWLFN4Icg/s320/Soldier.jpg)
So she quit the soldier gig and got a job with Bernie Madoff stealing from the rich and giving to herself and all the other Dorks.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguWada2hTRN6DIyx4OojKGrQa8IKbMGPOBxAEb0la1kWPbSYOo-9Rvwxe6OWCvZ6J4-NnKwb8DvWkXrJHHgX52yCFoma-RBOit3tyV1xmka6SGjO8QIMYO_OcoxzenNL0zklty4FDa3_4/s320/Money.jpg)
Unfortunately, this caused her to be vilified by out-on-the-street-broke-ass-seniors all over Florida.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyRJg1QkC3dqIXOMoqRUfDDfm6ikL25tIKRpxPmsJgVzMAAZAbwGuxcX9JmdSn-6x1LQ-1MSBLKJKR6Y9gQyiLGXQVYrG6TtnbN3Rk5LFOwBK_1KZ7O2smcjUQT4AbIeMXfEZOWkyXCGM/s320/Senior.jpg)
And wanted. But not in a good way.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5Wj635M5fG6BdNTCAYrIeyeyXM6DXBHaK64vmAzN4Slcr9DWC4ANBiDGy_u7qsNOcVaBJPA_96_Jl8ms2BLW-BFhFeVA4onw95dHf71VjH2_rHnlN5MwLwgrVlOCB_nWUBzevqqSO19E/s320/Wanted.jpg)
Thankfully, all the other Dorks still loved her as close Dork families are wont to do.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNWEv6Qu12FXTM_ya5LnVq4jdeMgxYklAnsVaLHZSYBzvlODBLmcY3EnNMuM_epE1BnJew5isUClvt4N4gdeCtiqHDxEoFlgv-d_1MQ02OwDR3YZS3JoKj-k1Jr0VFfbdulvvt3voZv88/s320/Dork.jpg)
Eventually, Dorks became the in-crowd. Everybody wanted to be a Dork and Heather was finally rewarded for her hard work in support of Dork-rights.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu5WOkVfyny99WdHYaI7u7kgDaJJXW-WR21s1KqpWtD-uA2jicvvUpA3HghsBhwofyz7fh8bDQwQfLhA67cxSIlDTEUs7kXQOM9cFlk2xhvuQFcl2Wv2sOjXyx_KOMhmoGCUGeBqTgROg/s320/Rushmore.jpg)
Even Paris Hilton wanted to be her BFF and work for Heather's Dork charity.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVmh9UfhmH2tm_iFjqKUtx4jgeiSfGW_czLI2LeyVWrxgxVQjAM-3MjR5F8tmK4bUAsYYRzl0MvILYCcabtZIPyGu48Uh8Qd-ALMEEQEvtWna5KvyCfRQ5I3pFCpaZBInrUBN27nLDjcY/s320/Paris.jpg)
Kiera Knightly couldn't even get a decent job because of Heather.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7z9oOjSg8BsHLu6R8pSJzAvE_upi3MsWkZ5WqCfr_6FVMV1y9YsRHfZctOxkS43KkEfG_RELafLevFdSbJwSAfYF8Qa-WiUbljwBqK9oJ3hGyWh3bHOhuQgiEgM6-fVfsJI9_8HPTllg/s320/Pirates.jpg)
And all was right with the world because, it was discovered, the world was full of Dorks.
The End.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoliHJGajRf8qshnB3yCiVlGtgGKhoPfJQuB6BtcrwDZBTTU6OPslRmzxXAQuZcX-eMDh9U2O-Ec3XtIrozahSiWoAakzE8bAoq5ByI_z3jI-8xsaVhSHcKvRtpzvYqhxn86pfHCTZCcg/s320/Book.jpg)
P.S. Thanks to The Bloggess for the link to PhotoFunia. Kick ass!
18 comments:
Dorks (or geeks) are usually the most fun to hang out with :)
Typical people are boring, and have the tendency to make me feel all inadequate and shit.
Love it!
All dork stories should have happy endings like this one!
HA! I figured you got your hands on a photoshop book or something.
Made me laugh--and I needed that!
Hilarious!!
The dorks shall rule the world.
Now maybe my sons will realize that calling me "Dork" all the time is actually NOT an insult.
I love the Kyra/Heather shot!! That was soo freakin' funny!
I thought this was one of your funniest blogs.
That tool looks to be more fun than an outdoor preschool class with a box full of firearms!
I did not get any of that many you pilfered with Madoff.
Dangit!
Still - you are the best dork I've met, so there. :P
You're a dork role model for the rest of us common dorks.
You are way hotter than that Kiera chick.
LOL - that was hilarious! Must check out photofunia now.
You had me fooled- thought you had become a master photoshop arrtist. Thanks for the link, will definitely be playing with that site.
at christmas i used that site to put my company's logo on christmas bulbs. was way cool.
although not as cool as this post. i loved the story telling!
and now i get to go lose a few more hours of my life to that site seeing as how they seem to have a few new images to play with. thanks...
I LOVE PhotoFunia. What a fabulous, albeit dorky, storied history you have.
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