19 August 2009

First Days

The twins started back to Montessori pre-school on Monday. This year was nothing like last year. No struggling to put on shoes. No waving of arms. Minimal chaos. No tears. Just lots of excitement because we're all old pros at this. Good Lord, you'd think they were starting their first semester at M.I.T. Oh, wait, with that whole time relativity thing, that will be next month. Never mind.

Aren't they just the cutest? Fine, I am biased, no need to remind me. Even J-man got in on the action with a lunch box and backpack of his own. I figured I might as well break him in early since he starts the whole school shebang in January.

Monday was a first day for me as well. It was my first day in years, YEARS I tell you, to drive up to an office building, talk to an HR rep (Who, by the way, looked like Willem Dafoe's twin brother from another mother. Seriously. I was waiting for him to chuck a pumpkin bomb at me. I kept flinching throughout our meeting.), fill out tax forms (Pssst! Ty-man! I haven't filled out a W-4 in... well, ages! What do I do! Hello? Hello, Ty-man?), get a tour of a company where people actually sit at computers and, you know, work (Yep. That's a cube farm. Yep, those employees are prairie dogging. Ah, memories.), and meet my boss (My boss is my sorority sister/college roommate. Nepotism? Technically, no.). It was surreal. Even though I'll be doing this Social Media Blogger gig from home, I went through the motions of Welcome aboard! Glad you're here! Girl, don't even eat poppy seed bagels for the next couple of months because we may make you randomly pee in a cup, thus causing you to positively test for opiates, even if it was opiates with cream cheese, in which case we'll chuck you outta this place. Head first. It's so great having you as part of our team! I drove home with a spinning head.

And then, it happened. It being a picture for my ID badge. An ID badge I'll probably never use except for dart target practice, because oh. my. GAWD! Will you look at that train wreck?

There it is. Right there. Proof that I was a butt-first baby. My whole face is crooked, people! My left eye is higher than my right and what's with said left eye being all droopy?!? Mr. Dafoe probably thought I was getting a head start on the opiate thing. No wonder he smirked when he said, What a great photo! Must remember to un-alphabetize all his files, pumpkin bombs be damned.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm not a big advocate of change. In fact, I fear it. Even if it would do me some good, change generally makes me grumble like Old Mr. Schneider pissing and moaning about the teenagers down the street. Every time change occurs in my life, I wonder if I'll manage it, will I be good enough, will I live up to the expectations of others (which, I know I shouldn't care about but I just do anyway , thankyouverymuch), and will I come out the other side better? Or worse?

I'll let you know.


Avitable said...

You're starting a job? Good luck - I know that you're nervous!

Unknown said...

that "Doofus" made me snort coffee out of my nose. ;-)

And show me one person who's not crooked, I'll show you a person that had plastic surgery.

That One said...

What is a Social Media Blogger gig? I'm intrigued. (I know you'll be fabulous at it.)

I'm crooked, too! But your photo isn't as bad as you think. We are our own worst critics, yada yada yada.

Congrats to you on your new job!

Barbara said...

What a great off-to-school picture of the kids! And cheers to you for the new gig. Sounds like a a nice match--making money AND your passion for blogging.

Patois42 said...

Well thank God you put a picture of the beauties before the beast.

Unknown said...

Good luck, Darlin'. You know? You look different in your picture than you did when I met you. On the other hand, have you SEEN my new Driver's License photo?

And you never will, either.

Miss Britt said...

How the hell did I miss that you're starting a JOB?!?!?!!?!?!?!?

sybil law said...

I love it! So excited for you!!!
I think you look great in that photo, by the way, Doofus. :P

Willie G said...

Good Luck with that!! Sounds exciting.

And, btw, your children are beautiful.

hello haha narf said...

what are those kids carrying? i thought lunch boxes were made out of metal and had cartoon characters or star wars on em!

also? their backpacks are almost as big as they are. entirely too cute. but for their sakes i hope they don't get loaded full of heavy books. poor things will tip over backwards!

now about this job thing...yay, you! wait. are they going to give you time off in october to come to adam's party? if not, quit now. although i'm totally looking forward to story time with heather about the people and the work. so torn...

Lynda said...

You'll be great! Also, I didn't know your last name was Doofus.

And my left eyebrow is always higher than my right. :( Your photo looks fantastic!

Lynda said...

Oh, and the twins...AWWWWWWWW!

I want twins!

HEATHER said...

Precious babes! But how in the heck did I miss that you are starting a job? Details girl.

Anonymous said...

The kids look ULTRA cute!!! And so do you on your ID pic... in a umm... quirky doofus kinda way... My picture is worse though. One of 10 years ago they won't let me change

Good luck Babe!!!

And umm... I am sorry but in what universe does blogger make "lubme" a word verification word? It's mine.. and I have weird associations with it, like the word is missing an "e", or is that just me?

Ashlie- Mommycosm said...

Very exciting!!

Just to confirm: those are some CUTE kids you have there.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Avitable - As nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs!

LeSombre - Glad I could introduce the inside of your nose to some caffeine. :)

Tuli - I'm writing for a site called CommunitySherpa.com. Each Sherpa site is customized for cities across the US and I'm writing articles applicable to the different cities. For example, today I wrote a brief article on the Tuscaloosa Jaycees Fair. It's interesting work!

Barbara - It is a great match! :)

Patois - Hee hee!

LceeL - And that's what drives me nuts! My driver's license picture is good! Hell, even my passport picture is good! Now, that's saying something that a work badge is worse than a passport.

Britt - Um, yeah. The job sort of came on suddenly. :) It's getting paid to blog! About events and things to do in towns all over the country! Do you know how hard it is to write about a steakhouse in San Lorenzo, CA? That I've never been to? It's crazy.

Sybil Law - Thanks, dork! :)

Willie G - Thanks, hon. :)

Hello Haha Narf - Oh, I know! The backpacks go past their butts! It's crazy! And they can't use lunchboxes/bags with characters on them. Sad because I have this awesome Wonder Woman box that Miss-Miss just LOVES! And the job is work-from-home with very flexible part-time hours. So, I'll definitely be at Avitable's Halloween party! Woo hoo!

Lynda - Yeah, the Doofus family is everywhere. We're known for our silliness and general buffoonery. Wow. Is that even a word? And be careful what you wish for! I always wanted twins and poof! They're awesome and crazy, all at the same time!

Other Heather - I'll provide details in a forthcoming post. Promise.

DutchBitch - Yeah, that verification word should have "lube." Heh. :)

MommyCosm - Thanks, hon!

Not Afraid to Use It said...

Awesome for you with the job. I hope you totally love it! Sounds like it has great flexibility for you! And the kiddos are just adorable! I'll bet you are so relieved that school has started!

Dave2 said...

If you look close enough, I don't think anybody is perfectly symmetrical. I sure ain't! And I end up Photoshopping a lot of so-called "perfect people" who have symmetry issues all their own, so don't worry about it one bit. So long as you don't have tentacles, you're perfect just the way you are :-)

Expat No. 3699 said...

Wow, good for you and good luck with your new job...though you won't need it.

Your kids are so cute, like their momma!

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

NATUI - It has awesome flexibility and I'm excited about it because it's going to force me to hone those writing skills.

Dave2 - Dave? Have I mentioned lately that I love you? 'Cause I do.

Employee No. 3699 - Thanks, hon!

A Free Man said...

Change sucks. As do ID pictures. I've been here for 18 months now, our secretary has been asking me for a picture for the website for 18 months and I've been putting her off for 18 months.

The wee'uns are adorable. But those backpacks are bigger than they are!

Irrational Dad said...

That is NOT the definition of "Prairie dogging" that I am familiar with. In fact, google seems to think that my interpretation ranks above yours.

Thank goodness I clicked your link, because your post meant something entirely different at first.

Gypsy said...

Good luck with the new gig! Also, you're lovely.

Halala Mama said...

You absolutely made my day with your picture comments. :)