04 December 2009

Potty Training Hell - Take 2

Some of you may remember a post I wrote one year, five months, and four days ago, about the pitfalls and perils of potty training our twins, Bubba and Miss-Miss. Oh, what heady days those were. Spending endless hours in a cramped half-bath, one toddler on the toilet and one on the potty chair, and me on the floor, while the rest of our days were occupied with attempting to detect the subtle nuances of toddler scatological behavior.

He's squatting. Do you think he needs to go?

Oh, wait. She just got reeeaaaaally quiet. And she's not moving. You think she's contemplating a dump?

And now it is one year, five months, and four days later and we have four-year-old twins who are toilet-use pros. They tell us when they need to evacuate their nethers. And now, their two-year-old brother is the latest "genius of the john."

Yeah, you heard me right. He's done. He's got it down. He's jiggy wit it! After only seven days (really five days because my ass was too tired to write this any earlier) our J-man is a toilet pro with the best of them. This training-a-singleton-who-has-older-siblings-shit? Awesome.

We again did the half-naked toddler thing for two days (as endorsed by Miss Britt) and the score was as follows:

Pee in potty - more times than I can count
Pee on the carpet - 2
Pee on the ottoman - 1
Pee on his PJs - 1
Poop in the potty - 1/2 + 1/2
Poop on the carpet - 1/2 + 1/2
(Basically, that means that twice he started pooping in the sunroom and finished in the toilet.)
Times Bubba pointed at the poop on the carpet and shouted
OOOOOO! That's nasty! - 2
Times I told Bubba to shut it because he pooped on the carpet once, too. - 2
Times my Bissell Spot Bot was used - 4
Times I made sweet love to patted my Bissell Spot Bot - 4

And there you have it. Now that it's over, what have I learned in the last week of potty training my youngest?

I have learned that it's OK to profusely thank the sweet, baby Jesus, dressed in swaddling clothes, in the manger, for never having to change another stinky diaper until I become a grandmother.

I have learned that older siblings will not help you watch the younger one in training for any signs of needing to go to the bathroom. They will simply point and grimace after the fact, whining about how gross it all is.

I have learned that you can spend quality time with your child in a bathroom.

And finally, I have learned that it's OK to just let go and not stress about it all so much. Because they do get it in the end.

Whew. Thank God that's over.


Molly's Mom said...

Yay! Congrats : )

*WF is "quaterho"...??

Geekgrl64 said...


BTW - did you get the info about the con I sent?

Avitable said...

Another reason in the "con" column when it comes to having kids. Yikes.

Unknown said...

Ah ... I sense the need to be observant and ready for "The Relapse".

Three sons - know what I mean?

Barbara said...

High fives all around!

sybil law said...

Yay! I am so glad he's using the potty!!!
Amen to no more diapers. Afreakingmen.

Ashlie- Mommycosm said...

Yay! I love finally being diaper free.

This will be our first trip to Aruba sans diapers...can't wait. Of course, now we'll have to scope out the nearest potty in addition to the nearest exit en route. [sigh]

Audubon Ron said...

Glad everything came out alright. Uh, wait a minute that didn't sound right. Anyways...

Expat No. 3699 said...

Yay! I'm glad your potty training days are over...unless you decide to get a puppy in the future and have to deal with housebreaking days!

Not Afraid to Use It said...

Oh my god, girl, I am so there with you. I still can't quite believe it's true. Toasting you and your awesome little ones tonight!!

Patois42 said...

Doing my own version of the happy potty dance in his (and your) honor.

A Free Man said...

I am soooo ready for the older boy to get potty trained. What's a Spot Bot? Sounds like something I should have.

marty said...

Now you can look forward to potty training for adults as you reach a certain age. Not that I've reached that age as yet.

Irrational Dad said...

Ok, tell me EXACTLY HOW YOU DID IT! I want to be done with diapers, like now. And, I too have a Bissell spot cleaning machine. I'm READY.

Sheila said...

My two year old daughter is so ready to potty train but she just sits and sits and sits.

I need help!