26 April 2010

Some Universal Truths About Ghost Hunting

  • When the flashlight turns on? By itself? With no one near it? I will turn into one giant goosebump about to wet its underpants.* And the video camera will have a low battery and will need to be rewound. Seriously.
  • If I come investigate your house and you happen to have a bearded dragon, double check its aquarium after I leave because I may just take it home with me.
  • Crickets that have managed to escape being a meal for the aforementioned bearded dragon are sure to drive you in-frakking-sane with the constant, never-ending, infinite, perpetual, eternal, incalculable... CHIRPING!
  • My stomach will growl, constantly, during EVP sessions when I need to be quiet.
  • Stopping off, before the investigation, for cheap gas station coffee means I'm always last in line** and the owner of said gas station will, in their best urban/Southern redneck/Hindi accent ask me "You're a ghostbuster? Where ya going? Are tha walls bleedin'?" Seriously. Do I have "Ask me stupid shit!" pasted on my forehead?
  • Sometimes it's not about investigating the paranormal. Sometimes it's about reconnecting with your friends and sitting in the dark at 1AM talking about stupid shit.
  • Don't cross the streams. Total protonic reversal.
  • It feels good to be able to give someone, who is grieving, the answers they need.
*Dude, I am not even kidding about the flashlight thing. Believe me, if I could put the video evidence up here, I would, but our client doesn't want anything released. It. Was. AWESOME!

**My team finds it funny to bolt for the door and snicker outside in the relative safety of their cars. Traitors. All of them.


Unknown said...

You REALLY do this? AWESOME!

HEATHER said...

That flashlight thing is A-MAZ-ING!! But I don't blame you, I would probably pee myself too! LOL!

Little Mrs. Jonesss said...

Uh yea. That was possibly some of the most wicked stuff I have witnessed in our 2+ years of doing this!

And we don't mean to leave you hanging with the creepy gas station attendants! You are just too nice and talk to them for a while!

Ashlie- Mommycosm said...

I think of you every time we see Ghost Hunters on TV. Totally wish I lived near you and could participate.

The flashlight thing? AWESOME!

Annie said...

I was totally thinking of you when we watched "The Fourth Kind" last night. Wicked-crazy and whacked-out dream producing!

It still amazes me that throughout jr & sr high I wanted to go to Duke to study parapsychology. And, now, you're the one doing it!

Avitable said...

I hope you show me some of this shit when I see you in SIX DAYS!!!

Unknown said...

the flashlight thing sounds pretty frickin cool. in the mines if your light goes out by itself doesnt mean a spook is nearby, rather - your woman is at home with another man. :/ miner superstitions.

Little Mrs. Jonesss said...

sybil law just gave me an excellent idea! I am totally making a shirt for you that says "Gas station owner BAIT"
Wow, that's kinda long.

MrsRobbieD said...

I liked the stomach WILL growl one...Mine always did during ACT testing in High school, no matter if I ate beforehand or not!

Michael from dadcation.com said...

This reminds me of that time I... Wait. My life is boring as shit.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

LceeL - I REALLY do this, hon. :)

Other Heather - I sat on the bed and was all "NO WAY!!!! DUDE!!!" Yeah. It was incredible.

Little Mrs. Jonesss - I know you guys don't. ;) I am too nice. Brett needs to start carrying me outta there.

MommyCosm - Here's the link for Everyday Paranormal Pennsylvania (http://www.everydayparanormalpa.com) they cover your area. They may have a circuit team in your state that you could join. E-mail them, woman!

Annie - Dude. That is so cool that they have a parapsychology track. Wish we lived in NC. ;)

Sybil Law - No I don't, 'cause it's already on my fucking forehead! ;)

Avitable - :)

Coal Miner - OK, so according to you, Ty-man was whoppin' it up during said investigation. Hm. Time to bust his ass.

Little Mrs. Jonesss - Don't. You. Dare.

Mrs. Robbie D - Same here. SAT, ACT, any test. Didn't matter.

Muskrat - Your life isn't boring. Wanna join? :)

marty said...

I think I work with ghosts at my accounting office because when I confront people about how things ended up on the tax return they prepared, they act mystified as if there was some other-worldly being inputting erroneous information on their behalf.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...


Jason, as himself said...

Fascinating! I'm such a skeptic. But, I want to believe.

Irrational Dad said...

If my flashlight turned itself on while it was pitch black, and I suspected ghosts nearby.... You would have found me at a 24 hour, brightly lit Walmart 10 miles down the road in 12 seconds FLAT!

Wynn said...

Being a paranormal investigator must be like the coolest job in the world, almost. I mean I couldn't hold onto it because I'm a sissy.