Top Ten Important Things to Remember About Kids

Drumroll please!

10. You have to wash, dry, and fold at least one load of laundry each day, regardless of rain, sleet, hail, sunshine, stomach flu, or polio. Otherwise, you'll be buried in clothes and towels.

9. It's OK to escape upstairs, with your coffee, for 10 minutes and read 10 pages of your book while the kids are melting down. Otherwise, bad things could happen!

8. Constant application of Desitin keeps diaper rash at bay.

7. The second you leave the room/answer the phone/fix yourself a meal, all Hell is going to break loose!

6. Just when everything is going smoothly (kids are eating well, sleeping a lot, playing nicely together, happy) it will all go pear-shaped the next day (no appetite, night terrors, toy theft, whiny, teething).

5. If the kids are fussy for no apparent reason (normal temp, clean diaper, long nap, well-fed), dose them with Motrin! They could be teething! Don't underestimate the power of medicating your children!

4. The kids are always going to be more interested in the giftwrap/box than the gift itself. Don't be offended.

3. No matter how many good-tasting, healthy foods you feed them, the kids will still beg for the chocolate cupcake/Doritos/cookies you're eating.

2. The kids don't care if you're sick, coughing up a lung or your breakfast, the walking dead with a 104 fever. All they want is their meal, story time, and a LEGO aircraft carrier now dammit!

1. Your kids' hugs and kisses at the end of the long, tough day make all the other stresses worthwhile!

Have a great weekend!