The Twins' 2nd Birthday OR The Swan Dive

Yesterday, we celebrated Bubba's and Miss-Miss's 2nd birthday. How in the Hell is it already their 2nd birthday, the beginning of their third year on this Earth? Why did I always roll my eyes at my mother when she said, "Time flies the older you get!" Yeah, right Mom, whatever. Eye roll, huff, huff, walk off in a teenage tiff. Dear God in heaven, she was right.

Do you remember that scene in Grosse Point Blank when Martin (John Cusack) is in the car with his old high school buddy Paul (Jeremy Piven) and Paul is talking about how he can't believe it's been ten years since high school. He just keeps yelling, "Ten years! Ten! Ten! Teeeennnnnn yeeeeaaaarrrrssss, man!" over and over again. Well, that was me yesterday, mentally chanting over and over again, "Two years! Two friggin' years! Two! Twooooooo yyyyeeeeaaaarrrrssss! Geez!"

Just two years ago yesterday, I was laying on a hospital bed in the bowels of Northside Hospital (aka Atlanta baby factory), elevated blood pressure, elevated liver enzymes, plummeting blood platelets, protein in the urine, doom and gloom. I had been there for over two days and was wondering if I was going to be a long-term patient (the twins had five weeks and some change to go), if I would get to go home, if my labor was to be induced, something. I was going nuts. Dr. Friggin' (I love my OB. His favorite word is friggin'. Therefore, that's what I'll call him!) comes popping in around high noon, grin on his face, and says, "Your blood platelets are so low that if we wait any longer, you'll have to have an emergency C-section under general anesthesia! Let's get you to Labor and Delivery 'cause you're having these friggin' twins today!" (Well, maybe he didn't say friggin' then, but he did at some point that day! I'm sure of it!)

Four hours later, at 4:12 PM, we welcomed a 4 lb. 6 oz. Miss-Miss into the world and four minutes later she was followed by a 4 lb. 10 oz. Bubba. The next 20 days were days full of anxiety, worry, NICU visits, cuddles, kisses, and deliveries of frozen, bagged breast milk. Finally, on October 6, 2005, they came home, and we stared at them, in their crib, for the next 12 hours wondering, "What do we do now? No nurses to help us. No monitors to warn us of anything. Oh. My. God! What have we done! We can't be parents! We're not mature enough! Shouldn't there be a written test? A practical applications exam? Shouldn't a responsible adult be here to make sure we know what we're doing BECAUSE WE HAVE NO IDEA!!!!!" Yep, that's what it was like those first two weeks at home. Then, we got into a groove and all was well.

Now, they're two. Two, two-year-old chatterboxes who run, play, fight, laugh, squeal, cry, fuss, giggle, tickle, and steal our hearts each and every day. Yesterday, we celebrated their births, their joy, their undeniable spirits. They are little wonders and even though I keep waiting for someone to jump from the bushes and say, "Game's over! Thanks for babysitting these guys! We'll take them back, now." I know that they're mine and Ty-man's, bits of us that will live on in them, new souls ready to conquer the world.

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Now, about the swan dive. We invited family and close friends for a birthday cook-out and to bring their kids to play with Bubba and Miss-Miss in our fabulous back yard. New sandbox, play set/slide, play house, toy lawn mowers, picnic table, six kids, bunches of adults, it was pandemonium! Anyhoo, Ty-man had set up my hammock. I LOVE my hammock and I haven't been able to use it in forever. So, off I go with friend Teri close behind to have a moment in my hammock. I flop down, Newton's third law went into effect, and I was pitched/bounced off the other side. I'm talkin' hammock turned over, I was on the bottom, Teri was guffawing and peeing her pants, my mother was cackling, and it was SUCH a Heather moment. Wish you could have been there. If there was video, I'd post it on YouTube for you to see. I'm just thankful the twins didn't see it. I'm such a klutz...