30 November 2007

Somebody, Gouge Out My Eyes, Please!

OK, Andrea over at Mom to the Fey started this. It's her fault! Woman! Get thee down here to gouge out my eyes with a hot poker!

See, after my post about Vulva fragrance, we mentioned other female bodily secretions and ways to collect money from them. I joked that I had thought about reviving the whole wet nurse occupation but then found out that there are such things as donor milk banks. These places allow you, after a medical work-up and background check, to become a human milk donor to feed those children who are so lactose/everything intolerant, all they can consume is human milk. For some reason or other, though, their mamas can't breastfeed. Well, crap. Can't make money off a good deed like that.

Then, Andrea mentioned that there are fetishists out there who get off on watching lactating women... well, lactate. Or, fetishists who actually want to nurse themselves from lactating women. Holy jebus. So, of course, me being the inquisitive, messed-up gal that I am, I HAD to investigate.

I won't put the Web sites here. Firstly, they're too numerous to name. All I'll say is type "erotic lactation" in your Google search box and just have a good old time. You'll find all manner of Web sites that satisfy the lactating fetishist as well as those sites that specialize in the sexual intercourse proclivities of pregnant ladies. Well, ladies is too nice a term.

I'm just... speechless. I don't have the words. I mean, I know this type of thing is out there. I had to have known, like the back of my head/consciousness kind of known. But, I was denying it and in doing so, I was oh so innocent. Now, I'm damaged.

I need a piece of chocolate cake.


Not Afraid to Use It said...

When I was preggo with LittleMan there was an ad in our local CL from a man looking for a lactating woman for "something". Oh yeah.

Anonymous said...

When I had my first baby, I let my husband taste my milk. He said that it was very sweet and cloying and not something he'd prefer to make a habit of imbibing.

I actually found breast feeding to be an extremely sensual experience. I guess that's nature's positive reinforcement.

Quite apart from it feeling good, however, lactating boobies are an amazing weapon. If you squeeze it right it's exactly like having a water pistol! I used to squirt my husband with them and got quite good at aiming into his ear.

I think I was the only one who found it hilarious!

Military Mom said...

I guess it takes all kinds! Personally, found breastfeeding and being pregnant extremely UNerotic! YOu are too funny, I'm never bored on your site!

BTW, remember the other day when the link to my site was messed up? THANKS! Because of that I found a new bloggy friend in Ireland! Guess it was fate! Have a great weekend!

Anonymous said...

Oh, I hate when that happens...that inquisitive drive...then you figure out what it is...and need a scalding hot shower.

Takes all kinds, huh?

The new words are up at TGQDC, dear...go kick some butt!

Unknown said...

WHY and HOW can you possibly have this much time on your hands?!?!

Unknown said...

My innocence was lost after a particularly disturbing episode of CSI. Before that episode aired, I was happy pretending that I didn't know such worlds existed.

The fetish was also in the movie Shoot 'Em Up.

Unknown said...

*Innocence = the knowledge that such things exist. I've NEVER done such things! :) Just wanted to clarify.