Family coming.... five days!
House.... friggin' trashed!
Kids... sniffly and fevery!
Christmas tree.... undecorated, yet lit!
Presents.... in a pile in my office, unwrapped!
Laundry.... piling up!
Jebus help! It's your birthday, man, but could I have a slight bit of assistance? I'll make you a cake if you'll get down here and decorate the flappin' tree!
Pant, pant, pant. OK. I feel slightly better. I'll be going now....