25 January 2008

All Manners of Snot

OK, OK, I can't help myself! I have dealt with nothing but SNOT for the past four days and it's kind of running my life! When you see snot flowing (yes, flowing) from three noses, CONSTANTLY all you want to do is run screaming from the house into the nearest bottle of decongestant, throw yourself in, and swim like mad make up new words for the various stages of snot.

Yes, you read me right. Make up new words for the various stages of snot.

Kind of like the way the Eskimos/Inuit/PC proper tribal name for the natives who live in the great white north have hundreds of words for the different kinds of snow.

Check it out. You've got the basics.

Snot - The runny, mucous-y stuff, in various colors, running in liquid form, out of your child's nose.
Booger - Dried snot found caked inside and around the outside of the nose.

Here are my new terms.

Snooger - Not quite dried enough to be a booger, but pretty elastic and sticky with some snot-like properties.
Snubble - Snot bubbles. You know how the nostril can get coated in snot and when the child exhales through the nose, it forms a bubble. Therefore, snubble.
Snotscicle - The long line of snot hanging from your child's nose/upper lip after a rather violent sneeze.
Side of slime - The thin layer of snot on your child's food from a previous sneeze or from contact with the upper lip, covered in snot, upon insertion of the food into the mouth.
Finger snot - Snot located along the length of the index finger of the dominant hand. This is due to swiping snot before Mom can make it with a wipe.
Snot2 (a.k.a. Snot Squared) - An overproduction of snot due to child crying because they are unhappy having their noses wiped. Therefore - cold snot + crying snot = snot2.

Feel free to come up with more terms and let me know!

14 comments:

MilitaryMom said...

CLASSIC!

creative-type dad said...

How can anybody beat those...?!

Mr. Fabulous said...

Okay, now I don't have any kids, but I don't see why you can't just let the snot flow free. Sure, the kids will look disgusting, but they're not going out in public anyway.

Then, after a few days, when it all hardens, you can chisel it off their little faces and bodies.

Suldog said...

Oooog. Yours was the first site I visited this morning. Now I'm going to be nauseous most of the day. Thanks a lot!

UPSNOT = The stuff they suck back in just before it was ready to drop.

Avitable said...

Did you know that in Japan, it's customary to just let their noses drip down onto their upper lip and just wipe it away occasionally?

Just A Girl said...

Yummy...I've got to stop reading this during breakfast...

Teri said...

Snotlactite - when a snotscicle hangs so long that it hardens. Hopefully these are eradicated before a snotlagmite forms underneath.

Andrea said...

Slicker - the line of snot that goes from the nose to the upper lip that they keep licking at.

I love Snubble, though! :) Tree Faerie has had a few that I would have loved to take pictures of.

cheezewhizandmustard said...

The Crussnot: the severely dried snot under the nose when one awakens from 12 hours of sleep. It nearly tears skin off when being removed.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Military Mom - Thank you... thank you very much!

Creative-type dad - I know you can, chicken man!

Fab - See, it's the chisel part that's the problem. Kids? They hate wet wipes which means they're going to detest chisels.

Suldog - So sorry 'bout that. Upsnot made me laugh! Good one!

Avitable - Must buy tickets to Japan... never wipe noses again!

Just a Girl - Should put a disclaimer on the banner...

Teri - You sucking up with the speleological terms?

Andrea - Love slicker! J-man had a huge snubble post-sneeze this morning, too!

Mrs. Mustard - Man, I hate that stuff. The kids scream when I try to wipe off the crussnot. Great word!

Darrin said...

Boy I'm glad all three of my kids now do this for themselves. HA!

terancedubya said...

Booger Spelunking: The actual act of diggin for gold.

Snot-Diving: The act of booger-spelunking only to find a finger full of snot instead of a booger. This in turn causes the nose to run, which in turn makes me put my child in the middle of the kitchen and throw a towel on her head.

Gypsy said...

Ew!! Those are awful. And fantastic.

Vonda said...

Ella Rose has SNUBBLES all the time and it's like she kinda knows she is doing it and then she smiles like, "Aren't I cool, Mom?" -V