OK, so up until a few days ago, I had a Facebook account/profile. When I began writing for Burt Reynolds' Mustache two months ago, I noticed it had a Facebook account. So, as a writer for said blog, I figured that I too should be on Facebook so that those who stumble across the 'Stache via Facebook could get to know one of the writers in the same way.
Then Calamity over at Ask And Ye Shall Receive was kind enough to mention, "Dude! You stupid bitch! Your name is all over this blog! People can find you! Freaks! Scary nutters! Run!"
Disclaimer - OK. Maybe she didn't say it like that. Maybe she was nicer about it. Still. I was freaked!
In the name of privacy (please, pronounce as if you're British - like Madonna snort), I removed my grandfather's last name from my profile, removed the link to my elementary school, and even backtracked one of the two sites that list my maiden name and removed all traces from there. I also made sure my Gmail account didn't show my name, just my blogger "alias." Whew!
Then, I realized, my Facebook account! I go on, attempt to change my display name in my profile, and it wouldn't let me. I couldn't be just Heather or Coal Miner's Granddaughter. I had to be Heather Ty-man'sLastName.
Mother. Puss. Bucket.
So, what could I do?
I deleted my Facebook account.
I know, Fab. I know. You're heartbroken. You couldn't function all weekend. I know it was that and not the third draft of your book. Wuss.
Sadly, I had just reconnected with a sorority sister I haven't seen in forever, a sister who found me through Facebook.
So, in the interest of privacy, acting like a total lunatic, and - of course - sticking it to The Man, help me come up with a Facebook name.
Heather Somebody. Heather Whatsherboobs. Heather InHiding.
Something.
Then, I'll come back.
Until then, I'll be up under my quilt, in a fetal position, watching Arnold Schwarzenegger in Eraser.
Who Am I?
- Coal Miner's Granddaughter
- I am the 40-ish granddaughter of Frank (see header), a fiddle-playing coal miner from West Virginia. I was born and raised in said state and have lived in Georgia since 1994. I have a wonderful husband, three beautiful kids, one cranky cat, and one anxiety-ridden dog.
Subscribe
Please Don't Steal
Confessions of a Coal Miner's Granddaughter by Coal Miner's Granddaughter is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 United States License.
Photographing
10 comments:
How about you just lock your doors instead?
How about Heather Nunya? As in Nunya Business.
Britt - Yeah, that would be too easy and I'm all about making anything and everything more difficult!
Gypsy - Ooh, I like Nunya. Nunya Beeswax!
It won't take Heather Coalminer? You would think that would be like Blackstone or Redman? Ya know?
Really? Wow, that's a bit crazy, you know.
Maybe you're the crazy one the rest of us have to watch out for.
/inches away slowly
Andrea - Nah. That's my maiden name that someone could use to find me.
NATUI - Ooooo Heather Blackstone.... so very soap opera. I like! I like!
Avitable - No, I'm not crazy /twitches/ not at all /licking favorite butcher knife - maniacally smiling/
Uh, so you're so twitchy about it that you removed your name from everywhere but then tell what your maiden name is in the comments? Color me confused.
Oh, and how about Heather Soccer Mom? :-)
teehee
you're now officially my hero. I couldn't even figure out how to work that facebook thing...so I'll stick with the kiddies on myspace for awhile.
Oh. I didn't think about that being a possibility... Duh. :)
Just use my last name. It's always been your secret fantasy to be married to me anyway...
Post a Comment