29 March 2008

I'm Outta Here!

So, at 10:03 AM today, I will be on a Delta flight heading south toward the Turks & Caicos islands, to do some much-needed scuba diving.

I. Can't. Wait.

Here's the thing. I used to be a scuba diving instructor. I taught scuba, went on dive trips to Florida (and a lovely little rock quarry in Alabama - note sarcasm) to certify students, and flew to the Caribbean at least once a year for a personal dive trip. I LOVE to dive. Really. I used to joke that I needed to get in the water twice a year, minimum, to stay sane.

Yeah. That was B.C. Before Children.

The last time I dove? Outside a swimming pool? July 2004.

My gills are non-existent and my mermaid fin has shriveled down to well... two legs.

I'm not a happy dive camper. But, that's about to change, because Ty-man's Uncle Bruce is also a lapsed diver...

And the Joe who's fronting the bill for this trip.

October 2007 Dialog:
Bruce: So, we need to go diving.
Me: Well, yeah, but all I can afford is Diveland Park Rock Quarry. Sunken tractor trailers, VW bugs, and bass boats, oh my!
Bruce: I was thinking more along the lines of a Caribbean live-aboard.
Me: Well, you and Auntie Barbara have fun, then!
Bruce: I'm buying!
Me: Twist my arm, please?

So, here are the two routes my flight can choose from for our destination (note: this is good for those of you who don't know where the Turks & Caicos are located - I sure as hell didn't):

Yeah. Right along the bottom edge of the Bermuda Triangle. Just my luck. You may never hear from me ever again because either my plane is going down or my boat is going to lose its way and sink.

But, not to worry. For the next week, my loving and wonderful Ty-man will be hitting the Publish button on seven sparkling posts that I have pre-written for all of you.
(Now, remember I said sparkling. Not "award-winning" "fantastic" or "blow-your-mind"!)

Yes, you read me right. As part of my trip prep, I packed my scuba gear, retrieved my passport, did all the laundry, wrote out washing machine instructions for the mother-in-law, and pre-wrote seven posts.

I love you all that much. And I'll miss you, too!

Blog you next Sunday!


Vonda said...

Oh my word Heather...taking a scuba trip??? So happy for you that you can get away and enjoy doing something you love so much. Ian and I were just talking about one of the plus' of being stationed in Hawaii or Guam would be scuba diving. And yes of course y'all could come and visit! :) But don't get too excited...we'll probably be in Oklahoma next. ;( -V

Anonymous said...

Have A Guh-Reat time!!! And btw: you're up next week in the pimpin' quarters ;-)

Avitable said...

Have fun!

And since you went to so much effort, I'll pre-write seven comments for you:

1. That's funny!
2. Heather, you're such a geek.
3. You always make me laugh.
4. I'd fuck Ty too.
5. No way? That's awesome!
6. You can use my testicles if you need to.
7. Awwww, so cute.

Liz Hill said...

That is awesome--have a great time.

B said...

With the time difference between east and west coasts, you're probably already at your destination by the time I'm reading your blog. Hope you have a great time!

Not Afraid to Use It said...

OMG you are going to have SO MUCH FUN!! I can't wait to hear how it all went!!

Narcoleptic said...

Hope you had a great time. The last time I was on a vacaction was probably some 7 years ago. I take classes in my summer terms, so it nearly kills me to see others partying their ass off then. Scuba diving would have seemes like a dream considering the blood boiling heat here, especially since Summer term is just like a month away.
So I'll try living vicariously through you.

Dave2 said...

Do you have UFO abduction insurance?? Just in case...

I'm totally jealous. I haven't been diving in ages. :-(

Anonymous said...

So happy for you! Sounds like a blast. Wave to Aruba for me...I know it's not nearly as close to you now as Bonaire was to me when I waved for you...but it's much, much closer than I am here in NH...and it's in the sun, when you're not underwater diving.

Here in NH, snowing today. By body is craving the sun and a little fresh air.