07 April 2008

I'm in Love...

... with the other woman!

That's right. I've crossed over, come out of the closet, and professed my love to a woman who loves the water as much as me, has beautiful brown eyes, and uses a little too much Botox on her lips.

Who is this dastardly dame, this hussy, who stole me away from Ty-man and the kids?

Meet Loretta...

(OK, seriously? Keep the "Damn, she would make a great sandwich!" comments to yourselves! Please!)

Loretta is a very friendly Nassau grouper who lives on "The Gully" dive site off of West Caicos. And she? Looooooooves divers.

She parks herself on her patch of coral, right on the top of the reef wall next to the gully, and waits for divers to arrive and pay their respects. And me? I paid my respects three times. I got down on the sand and talked to her through my regulator. She swam right up, got in my face, and nearly planted a big one on my lips after I took the regulator out of my mouth.

Damn, she knows how to show a girl diver a good time. I'm formulating the Dear Ty-man letter now:

Dear Ty-man,
I love you, but I need a change. A change of sex. A change of species. A change of location. Turns out, I like girls. In fact, I like girls with gills. Now, I know, I know, she can never leave the sea, she doesn't talk much, and she would never appreciate a good "Star Wars" movie, but those eyes *swoon* and those lips *faint*.

Please tell the children I love them. And please send my extra dive gear, bathing suits, and money for air to:

Heather
"The Gully" dive site
West Caicos
Turks & Caicos
Atlantic Ocean

Thanks!
Love, Me :-)


So, what do you guys think?
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And? If you missed it? Check out the archived Pointless Drivel Big Honkin' Duet II Show here. Download it! Get all of your friends to download it! Rate it! Love it! Live it! (BTW, my duet with Fab was the last one. I don't sound too bad!)

8 comments:

Avitable said...

She actually comes to the same spot and doesn't get scared of divers? That's very cool!

Momma said...

Beautiful photograph! I can see why you fell in love. Peace - D

Anonymous said...

so which one's the grouper?

signed,
not to be confused w/ aussie john

Mr. Fabulous said...

You sound damn hot.

Fish sex....also very hot!

Not Afraid to Use It said...

That is what I call getting in touch with your wild side. Totally amazing!!

Gypsy said...

Dang, she's tasty.

I'm sorry. Couldn't resist. Welcome back!

DutchBitch said...

Bwahahahaha on the letter to Ty-Man... Classic!

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Avitable - It is very cool. She especially likes men. Wanna go?

Momma - I wish I could take credit for the photo. She is a beaut!

John a.k.a. Anonymous - Smartass! :-)

Fab - Fish sex is hot. If the fundamentalist Christian/Muslim groups knew more about it, I'd be in hot shit right now...

NATUI - Serious wild side.

Gypsy - I should have figured you'd be part of the peanut gallery! :-)

Dutch Bitch - Glad you liked! :-)