05 April 2008

Open Letter 3

Dear DirecTV minimum wage employees who program the TV show titles into the DirecTV programming guide:

OK, if it's an hour-long Degrassi: The Next Generation episode about a spring break trip? Then call it Degrassi: The Next Generation NOT Degrassi Spring Break Movie! Okay? My TiVo is programmed to pick up all first-run episodes of Degrassi: The Next Generation NOT Degrassi Spring Break Movie. So, when you give something a different title/name, then my Season Pass won't pick it up, won't record it, and I won't have any idea of it's existence. I've just missed a full hour of "Did Emma knee Peter in the nuts? Does Manny truly love Jay or just yanking his chain? Does Marco's father finally accept his homosexuality? Can Darcy accept the fact she was raped?" You people deserve a special place in Hell.

Dear Blog Reader:
Yes, I watch Degrassi: The Next Generation. I'm 36. Watching a show about Canadian high schoolers. Bite Me.

Dear HarperCollins:
I could give a rat's ass if you think The Chronicles of Narnia should be numbered and published, as a set, according to when the books occur in the Narnia timeline. C. S. Lewis wrote them in a specific order (The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - Prince Caspian - The Voyage of the Dawn Treader - The Silver Chair - The Horse and His Boy - The Magician's Nephew - The Last Battle) and that is the order in which they need to be numbered and placed in their special little box set. It pisses me off that every time I walk by my kids' set, The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe is labeled 2 and The Magician's Nephew is labeled 1, etc.

Thank you, though, for keeping The Last Battle in 7th place. At least that one is numbered correctly. Ass wipes.

Dear Blog Reader:
Yes, I rattled off those Narnia titles, in their proper order too, by memory. Bite more of me.

Gad. Could I be any more of a lame geek than I am now?

7 comments:

Ms. Batman said...

Dear Coal Miner's Granddaughter,

I have the Chronicles of Narnia too. My father read them to me when I was 10, and now I read them to my daughters. I can name them off in order from memory. I love them!

Teri said...

If luvin a lame geek is wrong, I don't want to be right.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

Don't even get me started about those Narnia title! I nearly had a stroke the first time I saw the re-numbering! Holy god in heaven!!

.:| Melissa |:. said...

I used to watch the ORIGINAL Degrassi, back in the 80's, on PBS, when I was in my 20's! LOL

I've watched some of the New Generation, but really only because my 21 year old daughter watched it. Or, at least a couple years ago she did! She'd tell me that's so and so the son/daughter of so and so, and I'd say OH! I remember them from the Original Degrassi!!

I don't know if she's still keeping up with it or not. Though, she did find that she could watch episodes online somewhere, and often did that when she missed them on TV. So, she may still be doing that?

I never heard of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe until it came out in the movies. So many know of it, and I wonder why I never heard of it before then!?? *shrugs*

Chris in Flux said...

OK, I was with you on the Narnia books and could, like you, name them off in the order that Lewis wrote them. DeGrassi, not so much, but I did have an unusual fondness for the OC and 90210. Great site!

Lori said...

Heather-
OK, now I've got another reason to love you. I read my Narnia books until they (literally) fell apart. When I got them for my kids I got the collection in one thick book. I noticed the re-ordering and it stumped me. But then I found a short notation on the copyright page stating, "Although The Magician's Nephew was written several years after C.S. Lewis first began the Chronicals of Narnia, he wanted it to be read as the first book in the series."
So, as a writer I bow to his preference - but as a fan for a couple decades it still causes a little disturbance in my head. That makes me a lame geek, huh?
Oh well - at least I'm in good company!

Just A Girl said...

I'd never heard of Narnia until the movie. (Thank you public school system)

I loathe the DirecTv title typers. They continually make me miss MTV specials.


I'm so glad you're back.