07 July 2008

July 4th Re-cap

Our holiday began like every other day. Total insanity. Since potty training the twins, one of us is in that half-bath every 30 minutes. And trying to watch for crossed legs and, everybody's favorite, the "pee-pee" dance, from two kids who are at opposite ends of the house, while keeping J-man happy, and simultaneously washing dishes and vacuuming floors makes for an interesting morning.

Finally, it was 12:30PM. All five of us had eaten lunch, my mom and her friend were on their way over for July 4th food and fun, neither of the twins had had a poop or pee accident, and all was well. Ty-man ran upstairs, with J-man, for diapers. The next thing I heard was Ty yelling, "J-man! No! J-man! J-MAAAAN!" and then I heard it.

It was the sickening sound of J-man falling down the stairs. Nine steps. I counted.

Next comes my stream-of-consciousness memory of the next hour.

Ty-man and I made it to him at the same time. Ty snatched him up and J-man was screaming his head off. We went to the family room. J-man's nose started to bleed. I grabbed an ice pack. The twins were trying to climb up onto Ty's lap. I called the pediatrician. The answering service told me the doctor would call back. Miss-Miss told us she had to go to the potty. J-man's eyes started to droop. I freaked. Ty told Bubba to get down. Bubba cried and ran into the dining room. I called 911. While I gave 911 all our information, I was also wiping Miss-Miss's bottom and cleaning out the potty chair. Mom arrived. Paramedics arrived. Ty is hanging on to J-man for all he's worth. Firetruck pulled in. Six firemen/EMTs were in my family room. Bubba peed on the foyer floor. Paramedics examined J-man, while Ty tightly held him. I gave an EMT J-man's personal info while cleaning up the foyer and Bubba. Mom brought down clean undies and shorts. Mom took Bubba outside to see the firetruck. Miss-Miss was frozen on the hearth. EMT advised taking J-man to the local pediatric ER. We decided to drive him ourselves. All six hulking firemen left. J-man threw up. Mom raced outside to tell them to come back. EMT said it's not surprising. We loaded up in the minivan. I said Hell, no! to the car seat laws and J-man rode on my lap. During the drive, J-man tried to fall asleep. I kept him awake with 50 different versions of patty-cake. We finally got there. Triage nurse took his vitals. And we found ourselves here:


On a bed, in the hallway of the local hospital's pediatric ER. J-man was alert but scared and was absolutely glued to my chest. A few minutes later, we were in a room where we found this sign:


Not "Outstanding" care, not "excellent" care, but "Very Good" care. No, we don't want to aim too high. Friggin' glass half-empty hospital. After that? I was worried. The doctor finally came in after 45 minutes during which I let J-man sleep. He was finally alert, and crying hysterically because some strange man was poking and prodding at him. We got our little man to walk (no broken legs) and the doctor ordered X-rays of his nasal cavity. Off we went to Radiology. Since it was a holiday and they were short-staffed, it was up to me to don a lead vest and play radiologist. I had to hold down my screaming child and keep him still while three pictures were taken of his head. Fun? I think not. But after asking the radiologist about her equipment, telling her I wanted to go into health physics as a career after undergrad, and informing her I watch Discovery Health a lot, I immediately thought Crap. Now she probably thinks I've got Munchausen by Proxy disorder and that I chucked him down the stairs for attention. Great.

Everything came back fine and normal. No broken bones, no concussions, no seizures, no concerns. After almost six hours, we went home and chowed down on an Independence Day feast courtesy of my mom and her friend. We ate, we relived the day, and we sighed with relief.

As we were giving the kids a bath, Ty-man (in his sock feet) casually mentioned You know, the middle toe on my left foot has been hurting since we left for the hospital. I wonder what's going on. I told him to take off his sock and look at it. Turns out we did end up with a broken bone after all:


After 36 years and five months, Ty-man managed to break his first bone. Ever. In the rush to get from J-man's room to the landing, he somehow broke his toe and didn't notice the pain until an hour later and didn't say anything about it for another five hours. That's my man.

So, now that you've stuck with me through this sordid tale, let's check the scoreboard:

Broken bones: 1
Times I have now called 911: 1
New gates purchased for the tops of the stairs: 2
X-rays: 3
Hours in an ER: 3.5
Twin poop and pee accidents: 2
Burly firemen in our house: 6
Nosy neighbors checking out the scene after the fact: 1
Freaked out parents: 2
Happy, slightly clingy J-man who is no worse for his tumble: 1

23 comments:

HEATHER said...

Wow! I am so glad that J-man is ok! I would have been scared to death, since those are all the symptoms for skull fracture.
Make sure that Ty-man has had a recent tetnus shot. I do not know why, but when I broke my toe and when my mom broke hers the doctors made sure that our tetnus was up to date.
Glad everyone is ok!

Momma said...

Having a story to tell with a somewhat happy ending: priceless.

I'm glad everyone is relatively okay. Ty-man's foot is going to hurt for awhile, but it will heal. I'm so glad J-man's alright.

Peace - D

Molly's Mom said...

OMG!!!! You guys really know how to have a good time, huh? I'm glad everyone is fine. Have you been able to swallow your heart again?

Tuli said...

No offense to Ty-man but I'm glad it was his toe that got broken and not J-Man. Am rejoicing that J-Man is fine.

You could write a poem about this day and recite it by the bon fire every 4th of July. (Kinda like the Night Before Christmas poem. Only in July. When the mosquitoes are biting. And there's an abundance of apple pie.)

Donna said...

Sheesh, and I thought things were bad here.
Funny how that adrenaline works. So, did you tape his broken toe to the one beside it? 'Cause, I'm assuming you didn't go back to the ER.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

What a horrific day! I am so glad that everything turned out as well as it did.

But let me tell you. After my experience walking into the ER in labor, and now your experience with J-man where they made you sit for nearly an hour--I am now a firm believer of TAKE THE AMBULANCE so you are seen immediately. Somehow, they just don't seem to take you as seriously when you walk in of your own volition.

Avitable said...

Glad to hear he's okay. Tell him no more pratfalls until he goes to clown college, okay?

Miss Britt said...

Holy crap. I'm so glad he's OK.

And.. um... ONLY TWO ACCIDENTS!! YAY!!

Gypsy said...

Gah!! I'm glad he's ok, but how scary!

That Chick Over There said...

Oh poor thing!

Employee No. 3699 said...

So glad J-man is okay.

Ty-man's toe is going to hurt for a while. I broke a toe about 8 years ago. Even after the bone healed I felt pain if I even mildly bumped it.

And yes, it's great that your local hospital has such high standards.

Toodles~

MommyCosm said...

WOW! Glad that everyone is OK, except for the broken toe.

BTW: I don't really qualify 45 minutes of waiting for a doctor when your baby has a possible head injury as "very good" service...for the record.

Toasty said...

Yeah, that "very good" care they are aiming for? Hilarious. I think you live near my dad, b/c that hospital sounds familiar. My stepmom has a lot of allergy attacks.
Glad the little one is ok!

Jenn said...

OMG - how terrifying! I know it happens to everyone sooner or later, that rushed trip to the ER and/or calling 911, but it makes me shiver just thinking about it! So glad everyone is OK! (Except the toe...a busted toe hurts like crazy, but he's obviously tough, and can take it!)

Saskboy said...

Interesting holiday. Hopefully normal days aren't so active.

B said...

OMG! I was holding my breath until I read that J-Man was okay. Whew! I sighed a sigh of relief. How on earth were you able to stay so calm? I would have been freaking out so bad I would have had to be sedated! When my kid was 5, she fell inside our church and split her head open just above her eye. I tried to remain calm, but at the ER, the dr. made me go sit in a corner because he thought I was going to pass out. I'm so glad your little guy is okay. I'm also so sorry your Ty-man has a broken toe. So no shoes for him for a while? Hope the rest of your weekend went well. :)

Willie G said...

Glad your boy is in good shape. My son had a similar accident at 18 months, tumbled down 13 hardwood steps. He knocked out his 2 bottom front teeth. The real humiliation came from being treated like a child abuser by the emergency room staff. I wanted to punch their teeth out.

.:| Melissa |:. said...

OH MY!! I know you were just beside yourself, Heather!!! I'm not the "freak out" kinda mom, but when it comes to things like THAT, yep, I become that kinda mom. Even now, that they're all grown!! I'm so glad J-man is ok!!! Sorry about Ty-man's toe though!

yea, Kennestone sux! I hate that place. My mom actually used to work there (in surgery - She was a Surg. Tech.)!

Cobb General sux too.

Douglas General, well, it's the WORSTEST of them all!!

It took them EIGHT hours to get me out of the ER waiting room and into the back!

Meantime, I'm DYING (for EIGHT hours) of kidney pain! *blink, blink* I'm not accustomed to that! See the last time I went to the ER for kidney pain (I get kidney stones and infections occasionally) I was literally snatched up by the arm and led back IMMEDIATELY! Cuz, yanno, kidney pain is a SERIOUS matter! HA! Not at Douglas General! Fucktards!

Then then after about an hour or so in the room, waiting, the nurse FINALLY gives me something for pain. Rwo freakin vicodin's. I looked at the nurse and said, um. yea. those aren't gonna do much of anything! I took them, and they barely helped. About an hour and a half later,

I was screaming in pain again! Then I ORDERED them to give me some thing MORE powerful, like Dilaudid!

That one was probably my worst hospital experience, ever!

The real joy .... They ended up finding that I had not only a kidney infection, and I had been passing stones, but I also had a yeast infection (my first EVER, at the age of 41) gall stones, an umbilical hernia, Diabetes, AND a growth of unknown origin on my right kidney.

Yea, that last one will freak you right the fuck out!! Even when you're high as a kite on Dilaudid! ONE word runs through your mind! That yukky "C" word! :0(

Because of my diabetes, I was admitted because I was in the beginning stages of DKA.

We got there at the ER at 15 til 9 AM. It was about 5 PM when they finally took me to the back. Then, it was about 11pm when they admitted me, and I didn't get into a room until 1 AM!! yea, SIXTEEN hours!! *rolls eyes*

The next day, I had some more scans and stuff, and they found that I had an angiomyolipoma, basically it's a "fatty tumor", on my right kidney. It's benign, but I do have to pay attention to any kidney pain there, cuz that right there could be a serious issue!

Oh, and they charged me almost $10,000 for their wonderful services! How sweet of them, huh? ;0) And as for insurance ... what's that? I have none! OH JOY!

Narcoleptic said...

You have these days that aren't that significant and still somehow u'll remember every minute detail of it throughut your life. And there are days that you so longingly try to hold onto but somehow your memory gives way.
Well this day was neither for you I guess, you will forever remember the chill that ran down your spine when you realised your child was hurt.
Nine stairs is a lot.
I guess 4th July brought its share of good luck for you in it's own creepy way, ensuring your son wasn't hurt.

soupisnotafingerfood said...

Clicked through from Avitable... wow, what a tale! I love the deadpan description of the sequence of events.

I watched my oldest son, not even 2 at the time, cruise on his back, headfirst, down our friend's wooden basement staircase towards a concrete landing. Luckily our biggest buffoon friend was at the bottom, waiting like Pudge Rodriguez to catch him. Son was fine in less than 10 minutes; it took me more like 10 hours to recover. Let it never be said that red wine does not have medicinal purposes. For me, not the kid.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Other Heather - I was scared, especially when his eyes started drooping! And Ty had a dip-tet-pertussis shot last year. Woo hoo!

Momma - So very priceless, hon!

Molly's Mom - Oh, honey. We PAR-TAY! And the heart has returned to the chest, thankfully.

Tuli - Honey, I'm right there with you. We just may make this a 4th tradition. :)

Donna - Oh, adrenaline rawks! Until you run out. Then? It sucks. And no, going back to the ER wasn't an option! :)

NATUI - Really? The paramedics said we wouldn't get seen any quicker. Hmmmm.

Avitable - Yessir!

Britt - Woo hoo!

Gypsy - Very scary. The sound of him falling was enough to make me swallow my heart.

That Chick Over There - Indeed. He's still clingy.

Employee No. 3699 - Oh, honey. I'm with you. My broken pinky toe (broken over 10 years ago) still hurts. Especially on rainy, cold days.

MommyCosm - Yeah. More like "very shitty" service.

Toasty - It's Kennestone Hospital (part of WellStar) in Marietta, GA.

Jenn - He is one tough cookie - both father and son.

Saskboy - Well, except for constant trips in and out of the bathroom to "go potty" normal days around here are pretty quiet!

B - I stayed calm because I knew if I lost my shit, he would lose it, too. And Ty-man has been able to wear shoes, believe it or not! :)

Willie G - Holy. Crap. I was worried, too, about a question of abuse coming up. I would have lost it.

Melissa - EIGHT HOURS?!? $10,000?!? Holy crap, woman. Dude.

Narcoleptic - And you're right. This day? I'll remember every single detail.

Soupisnotafingerfood - Yeah. For us? It was beer!

jayna said...

A little late, but I'm so glad J-Man is okay! That's been my biggest fear here in the new house, E falling down the stairs.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Jayna - Thanks, hon!