One week from today is my... drum roll if you please... one year blogiversary!
Woo hoo! Yippee! SQUEEEEEE!
So, in honor of said memorable day, I'm going to hold a contest. I'm going to ask 12 questions below (one for each month I've been blogging) regarding the content of this humble blog. Avitable always has a great way of determining contest winners, so I'm going to copy him. Each question will serve as one point. Based on how many questions you get right (how many points you accumulate), that's how many times I'll enter your name in a random number generator and finally come up with a winner. You have until next Tuesday, August 12th, 11:59 PM, to answer the questions in the comments section of this post if you want a chance to win a few fabulous prizes! Nothing special (Sorry, no iPods here.) but cool nonetheless. I'll announce the winner next Wednesday (and the answers) on the special day! So, good luck and here goes!
1. What is a snubble?
2. Who did I fall in love with in the Turks & Caicos?
3. What is the fourth step in becoming a super geek?
4. What kind of deal do I want to make with Columbian drug smugglers?
5. Why did USA Nails call me?
6. What am I missing from both big toes?
7. When I start to think too much, what do I call the honey on my morning toast?
8. What's my cup size?
9. What kind of swim trunks did my dad wear?
10. Why did I need three prescription motrins, one oxycodone, and one bag of frozen peas in one afternoon?
11. What did the dead-beat dad try to ship his kid, via UPS, from Georgia to California?
12. What was the name of the husband who fainted while having his blood drawn?
Have fun everyone!
This blog is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Use only as directed. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. May be too intense for some viewers. For recreational use only. All models under 18 years of age. Freshest if read before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated pictures. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Sanitized for your protection. Sign here without admitting guilt. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of cats. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the contest. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No purchase necessary. Use only in well-ventilated area. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. Driver does not carry cash. Decision of judges is final. Some side-effects may include diarrhea, vomiting, loss of vision, paralysis, facial twitching, anal itching, genital warts, inappropriate cursing, and leg lifts. Use as directed.
Who Am I?
- Coal Miner's Granddaughter
- I am the 40-ish granddaughter of Frank (see header), a fiddle-playing coal miner from West Virginia. I was born and raised in said state and have lived in Georgia since 1994. I have a wonderful husband, three beautiful kids, one cranky cat, and one anxiety-ridden dog.
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Confessions of a Coal Miner's Granddaughter by Coal Miner's Granddaughter is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 United States License.
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10 comments:
Hahahahaha! loved you disclaimer at the end ... wonder how many people are going to read it?
Lets see now:
What am I missing from both big toes
a sigmoid bone
What's my cup size
um, D - I think
Why did I need three prescription motrins, one oxycodone, and one bag of frozen peas in one afternoon
your one son fell down some steps, some one stubbed their two, and I think a dentist appointment was in there somewhere - okay, fine, I'm just guessing, do I still get points?
What did the dead-beat dad try to ship his kid, via UPS, from Georgia to California
a rabbit
So, these are what I think I know without looking. I might be back, after I change a diaper or two ...
Fun. I'll definitely come back and work on this! I might learn a little about you from before I starting reading.
Some side-effects may include diarrhea, vomiting, loss of vision, paralysis, facial twitching, anal itching, genital warts, inappropriate cursing, and leg lifts
You should add: reading this disclaimer might make coffee come out of your nose or cause you to laugh so hard you might pee, just a little.
1. Snot Bubble (I wish I could create these on demand. It would be awesome.)
2. That would be Loretta. (I think she has a fishy smell though.)
3. Go to space camp. (Sadly, I have never been. I am pretty geeky though.)
4. You want to buy their used coffee beans. (Yum,Yum!)
5. Wrong number. Chinese lady was being flooded. (Your typical everyday phone call. Nothing to see here, move along.)
6. You are missing one sesamoid bone under each big toe. (Have you figured out that super power yet?)
7. Bee Vomit. (That is the greatest thing ever. I wish I would have thought of it.)
8. You are a D cup. You thought you were a B, but nope...it's a D. (There still hasn't been any photographic evidence of this, Your word is all I have to do on.)
9. Pork 'n Beans trunks. (Do those serve as a warning for people to stay upwind?)
10. Engorged breasts and repeated piston like thumps to them. (Sounds like a good time to me!)
11. A wittle bitty bunny. (aawwwww..)
12. Corbett.
Take that, suckas!
Pop quiz time!! Here we go:
1.Snot bubble
2.Loretta, a Nassau grouper
3.Go to Space Camp
4.Take the coffee beans they’ve used to help smuggle dugs
5.Your phone number is one digit off from police
6.A sesmoid bone
7.Bee vomit
8.32D
9.Campbells’ Pork ‘n Beans
10.You stopped nursing J-man
11. A live bunny for Easter
12. Corbett
1. Snot Bubble
2. Loretta
3. space camp
4. Something about the beans
5. Wrong number
6. The bone thingy is gone
7. Bee Vomit heh heh
8. Humongous
9. Pork 'n Bean pants
11 bunny
12 Corbit
1. Snot bubble
2. A grouper named Loretta
3. Go to Space Camp
4. To take the coffee off of their hands.
5. They meant to call the police.
6. Sesamoid bone
7. Bee vomit
8. 32D
9. Campbells' labels.
10. You got kicked in the boobs.
11. Live bunny
12. Your brother
I just finished reading two weeks worth of your blog in one sitting (sorry, I've been away) and I was cracking up so hard I almost peed my pants. But I made it in time to the bathroom cause I had on elastic waistband pants. I can't wait to undo all those buttons and hooks and crap - I've just resorted to elastic.
I can't even remember the answers to your questions. I do remember reading the posts about them, but not enough of the details. My brain is out to lunch lately.
Anyway, thanks for your comment on my earthquake day. This was only the second time I actually had anything break during one. The cool thing about earthquakes is that if you think to look outside while it's happening, you can actually see the ground moving in wave-like motions. But I usually forget to look outside, cause I'm busy trying to keep my stuff from breaking.
Hope you're having a great week. :)
It wouldn't be fair of me to partake of this competition, being as I am your twin and all. Great idea, though! I can't wait to see who wins!
1. Snot bubble
2. Loretta, a very friendly Nassau grouper
3. Go to Space Camp
4. To take their leftover coffee beans used to foil drug-sniffing dogs (for a decent price)
5. She misdialed your number trying to reach the police to report water coming out everywhere.
6. One sesamoid bone under each big toe
7. Bee vomit
8. D cup
9. Trunks with Campbell's Pork 'n Beans labels on them
10. Combo of the end of nursing, J-Man kicking the crap out of your ta-tas while you were trying to feed him, and Miss-Miss kneeing you while putting her down for a nap
11. A live Easter Bunny
12. Corbett
Everybody - Thanks for entering! You're all awesome!
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