12 August 2008

I Shoulda Bought an Iguana Part 2

You all know that I have two cats. I really don't blog about them because they're cats. They have the same facial expressions, the same attitudes, no matter the time of day or happenings in the house.

Food dish re-filled? Pissed.
Kid mauling? Pissed.
Cuddles? Pissed.
Me sucking on a self-inflicted paper cut? Maybe the slightest of smiles but still pissed one of them didn't inflict it instead.

You know, the usual state-of-being for our four-legged feline friends. It now seems that one of our cats has added a new dimension to our relationship.

He is shitting. on. the. floor.

Now, let me put your minds at ease. He's taking dumps just a couple of feet from the litter box. In the basement. Well away from the kids. Whew. I know, but it's still just nasty.

I swear I don't get it. Every cat we've ever owned has been litter-box trained and we've never had a problem and suddenly out of the blue (or brown - whatever) this one little corner of the basement is his happy little shit spot. I'm not following the feline reasoning.

I've watched various celebrity reality shows where the dogs are pissing and shitting everywhere and the pets are just out of control with their bodily functions. And while watching, I've archly thought to myself These people have just no idea how to train and take care of their animals and my pets will never do that. Never.

Um, yeah.

Hi, my name is Heather and I'm not a celebrity. I'm just a harried mother of three who doesn't get around to cleaning out the litter box every day. And Fresh Step recently changed their litter formula. And my cats still aren't used to their hairless monkey siblings. And now my cat shits on the floor.

Crap.* And the best part? Oh, this is great. To fix this? Requires multiple litter boxes. Filled with multiple types of litter. To determine my cat's litter preference. And placing food and water dishes on his favorite poop spot so maybe he'll stop pooping there because who wants to eat their own poop, right? Hmmmm, yeah, OK, this cat will crap in his food dish. I just know it, I feel it. Although that might not be a bad thing since he may just recycle his own crap and I won't have to scoop it ever again.

I might be on to something. I'll get back to you.

* No pun intended. Well maybe completely intended. Bite me.

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Don't forget! One more day (today, to be exact) to enter my fabulous one year blogiversary contest! Woo hoo! Adoration! Fabulous prizes! Celebrity writers.... how'm I kidding? I'm probably just going to send you my mom's 30-year-old Richard Nixon toilet paper. But? You'll be the coolest kid on the block, wiping your butt with some Tricky Dick!

14 comments:

HEATHER said...

Dr. Elsey's Cat Attract Cat Litter at PetSmart. The stuff is pretty expensive, but it works. I always put down a thin layer(about an inch) of my regular litter and then Dr. Elseys on the top. You also may need to scoop the box more. My vet told me that with cats, if they keep using the same place over and over it's usually behavioral. When they keep going in different places it's physical. Also with more than one cat, you have to worry if one cat is guarding the box and not letting him use it. That could be a problem, maybe buy a new box and put it over the spot he keeps using.
Ask me how I know all of this lovely information!! LOL!! Been there, done that!! I love cats but living with them is like living with a bunch of demanding little diva's or mental patients.

RiverPoet said...

How weird is this - my son's cat has started doing the same thing. Clean litter box and all. Yes we got "Fresh Step" instead of Arm & Hammer, but we didn't think it would be a problem. I guess it was a problem for her!

Usually adding litter boxes or finding the right litter will fix the problem. This issue is always behavioral rather than medical.

Peace - D

Bucky said...

I trained my cat to poop in the commode. I swear.

http://pages.suddenlink.net/bucky/ceni/

Teri said...

So now he needs a helmet AND a diaper?!

Avitable said...

He's telling you that he's pissed about something.

Miss Britt said...

My cat vomits on the floor.

And the chair.

And the couch.

And pretty much where ever the fuck he wants.

I hate my cat.

Employee No. 3699 said...

No cats for me anymore, just two dogs. Two dogs that are trained to poop in their own bathroom. Their approximate 2,400' square foot bathroom, aka my yard. Ah yeah; two dogs averaging three poops a day = a lot of pooper scooping...maybe I should get a cat.

MommyCosm said...

Yeah, I hate to say it, but I ended up having to get rid of my cat. She started shitting ON OUR BED. So not cool. We determined that she didn't have a medical problem, which left us to believe that she was just pissed off and vindictive.

Hope it's as simple as a litter problem for you. It was hard for me to give away the little shitter...but it was down to my husband or the cat and I chose him.

Oh, and Bucky, You.Are.A.God. I have a hard enough time getting my kid to use the commode. You could start a business...Shitty Kitty or something, you in??

Violet the Verbose said...

Argh, I hate it when they change their behavior like that and you have NO idea why. Our boy cat will crap somewhere we play (living room rug comes to mind) if the litter box gets too nasty. It's only happened once, thank goodness, but this and the girl cat's tender tummy & penchant for eating ribbon (the kind they use to tie balloons) is why we now own a carpet shampooer... argh.

Good luck figuring it out!

Ok, Where Was I? said...

Aahh, poop stories. I have tons with two jack russels. And a cat several years ago. One of the dog tips was supposed to be "they won't poop where they sleep," the logic being that you put them in a cage. Yeah. They will poop where they sleep and then some. Good luck!

Not Afraid to Use It said...

Yeah, our cat started protest pissing a few months ago. We've not really been able to stop her and I cannot stand the smell of our utility room right now. Our family has always prided themselves on having cats but no one could ever tell. So much for that.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Other Heather - You're right. They are just a bunch of divas! *Sigh* Thanks for the info!

River Poet - Dude. It's in the water. It's like "The Birds" - they're out to get us, to bury us in poo.

Bucky - I'm sending Pirtuk to your house.

Teri - Yup.

Avitable - He's pissed that I haven't taken these three kids back to the pound.

Britt - Oh, we have a vomitting cat, too. Poop and puke. Ah, it's the life!

Employee No. 3699 - Nope. Get a goldfish. :)

MommyCosm - Dude. ON THE BED?!? Wow. Pissed kitty. And? Shitty Kitty? You made me snort coffee!

Violet the Verbose - Thanks, hon!

OK, Where Was I? - I firmly believe that cats will sleep in their own poo just to spite you. And gross you out.

NATUI - Cats can really suck. I'm figuring that out.

Chris in Oxford said...

God, I hate cats.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Chris in Oxford - Sometimes? I do too.