25 September 2008

Dialog, Part 14

After receiving four missed calls from 678-914-9092* on my cell phone, I receive a fifth while at the CVS Pharmacy where I was picking up medicine for my croup-y child...

Me: Hello?

Mystery Caller: Yo girl! I think we mumble, mumble at the QT last night. Do you think mumble, mumble, unintelligible?

Me: Excuse me? I think you have the wrong number.

MC: Who dis?

Me: My name is Heather Dumbass.** I think you have the wrong number.

MC: Oh! Sorry.

*Click*

Two hours later, via text...

MC: hey i think we met @ qt other night whats ur name

Me: Look, sweetie. My name is Heather Doofus.** I'm a 36-year-old stay-at-home mother of three kids under the age of 4. I'm also married. I barely have time to go to the bathroom much less meet random guys at the local QuickTrip. Please delete this number from your phone.***

MC: oh damn sry bout that just found ur # and thought maybe i now you.

Obviously, my cell number and I are a hot item at the local gas stations, the places to hang out in suburban Atlanta. Anybody up for a gathering later at the Chevron? Texaco?

Damn...

* Yes. I published this child's number. Feel free to randomly call him at all hours. Maybe then his parents will take away his phone, thus saving all random women at the QT undue stress.
** Name changed to protect the not-so-innocent.
*** I know. I know. I can't stand run-on sentences or lack of punctuation. Even in text messages to random teenagers.

14 comments:

HEATHER said...

WOOO HOOOO!! That's funny!!

penny said...

I get more wrong-number phone calls than right-number phone calls. Unfortunately, none of them try to pick me up. Fortunately, none of them are that^ kid.

Bucky said...

I'm gonna text that number...as soon as I come up with something good to text him.

A Free Man said...

We've got a croupy kid as well. FUNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Ashlie- Mommycosm said...

You just proved that you have bigger balls than me. I threatened to post my annoying caller's number. You did it. COOL. I bow to you...I'm not worthy!!

Tuli said...

Damn teenagers and their new-fangled technology! (Said the grumpy old lady.)

This post cracked me up.

metalmom said...

Yo Girrrl!

I have visions of some random kid with his ass hanging out his jeans and his baseball cap turned sideways (just to show how he keeps it f'rizzle)

that's a real catch.

Avitable said...

I love your idiot teen speak. OMG LOL!

MB said...

So I guess I shouldn't have wrote "For a wild time, call ...." on the QT bathroom wall?

Gypsy said...

I weep for our youth.

Not Afraid To Use It said...

Damn woman! That is awesome! I love that you posted his number.

Trukindog said...

I'd call him but I don't want my # on the jackass's caller ID.

Heather, how did you make your bling page, is it a linked seperate blog?

I tried to email this ? but something isn't right, if you want you can go to my blog profile & email your response to me there.

Thanks.

Molly's Mom said...

Nice job! I dealt with a spanish speaking dude last weekend, only his number came up "private". I kept saying "wrong number" and "no habla espanol", but he didn't seem to get it. Thankfully I haven't gotten any calls from Jose since.

Vulgar Wizard said...

*LMFAO*