After receiving four missed calls from 678-914-9092* on my cell phone, I receive a fifth while at the CVS Pharmacy where I was picking up medicine for my croup-y child...
Me: Hello?
Mystery Caller: Yo girl! I think we mumble, mumble at the QT last night. Do you think mumble, mumble, unintelligible?
Me: Excuse me? I think you have the wrong number.
MC: Who dis?
Me: My name is Heather Dumbass.** I think you have the wrong number.
MC: Oh! Sorry.
*Click*
Two hours later, via text...
MC: hey i think we met @ qt other night whats ur name
Me: Look, sweetie. My name is Heather Doofus.** I'm a 36-year-old stay-at-home mother of three kids under the age of 4. I'm also married. I barely have time to go to the bathroom much less meet random guys at the local QuickTrip. Please delete this number from your phone.***
MC: oh damn sry bout that just found ur # and thought maybe i now you.
Obviously, my cell number and I are a hot item at the local gas stations, the places to hang out in suburban Atlanta. Anybody up for a gathering later at the Chevron? Texaco?
Damn...
* Yes. I published this child's number. Feel free to randomly call him at all hours. Maybe then his parents will take away his phone, thus saving all random women at the QT undue stress.
** Name changed to protect the not-so-innocent.
*** I know. I know. I can't stand run-on sentences or lack of punctuation. Even in text messages to random teenagers.
Who Am I?
- Coal Miner's Granddaughter
- I am the 40-ish granddaughter of Frank (see header), a fiddle-playing coal miner from West Virginia. I was born and raised in said state and have lived in Georgia since 1994. I have a wonderful husband, three beautiful kids, one cranky cat, and one anxiety-ridden dog.
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Confessions of a Coal Miner's Granddaughter by Coal Miner's Granddaughter is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 United States License.
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14 comments:
WOOO HOOOO!! That's funny!!
I get more wrong-number phone calls than right-number phone calls. Unfortunately, none of them try to pick me up. Fortunately, none of them are that^ kid.
I'm gonna text that number...as soon as I come up with something good to text him.
We've got a croupy kid as well. FUNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
You just proved that you have bigger balls than me. I threatened to post my annoying caller's number. You did it. COOL. I bow to you...I'm not worthy!!
Damn teenagers and their new-fangled technology! (Said the grumpy old lady.)
This post cracked me up.
Yo Girrrl!
I have visions of some random kid with his ass hanging out his jeans and his baseball cap turned sideways (just to show how he keeps it f'rizzle)
that's a real catch.
I love your idiot teen speak. OMG LOL!
So I guess I shouldn't have wrote "For a wild time, call ...." on the QT bathroom wall?
I weep for our youth.
Damn woman! That is awesome! I love that you posted his number.
I'd call him but I don't want my # on the jackass's caller ID.
Heather, how did you make your bling page, is it a linked seperate blog?
I tried to email this ? but something isn't right, if you want you can go to my blog profile & email your response to me there.
Thanks.
Nice job! I dealt with a spanish speaking dude last weekend, only his number came up "private". I kept saying "wrong number" and "no habla espanol", but he didn't seem to get it. Thankfully I haven't gotten any calls from Jose since.
*LMFAO*
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