07 November 2008

Sitemeter Shenanigans

I am constantly amazed by the routes some people take to find my humble corner of the PRB*. I know they don't mean to find me but the weird crap they're looking for? Leads them here. Actually, my blog is most likely Google search number 53,297 and has a 0.0006% probability of giving them the answers they want. But, they click on the link to this joint anyway, take a one-second peak, and run screaming. Or disappointed. Or pissed. Whatever.

Here are a few of the gems.

panties vhs 2008: Seriously? You? Up at the Main Libraries/Department of Education? You did a Google search on this? Are you trying to stock up on your Barry White collection?

how to pop back zits: During the gigantic fart that Wall Street dealt us two months ago, someone at the Morgan Stanley Group in New York City performed this search. Honestly, shouldn't you be Googling the phrase I need a new job? That is, if popping back zits is going to be your next job, then go for it.

where the Atlanta housewives hang:
To borrow a phrase... Bitch, please! Not here!

jaguar license plates: At least when you got here you found out that buying one of those for your Jag would be a bad and highly pretentious idea and that if I see you in front of me with that damned thing on your Jag, I will rear-end you.

granddaughter f@#k story: Honest to God. I cannot make this stuff up.

how long for motrins to work: Not fast enough, sweetie.

auntie like to f&*k: OK, I know this blog is rated NC-17. Because I like to cuss. And talk about the proper terminology for genitalia. But? This isn't a porn site!!! Who do you think I am?!? Wait... don't answer that.

grandpa f**king grand daughter harder: This search? Originated in Saudi Arabia. I? Am speechless.

And finally, during the aforementioned "Gigantic, Smelly Wall Street Fart of 2008", someone at the SEC (Securities Exchange Commission) in D.C. spent 16 minutes on my blog. Hello?!? Shouldn’t you guys be fining banks or companies or something? What are you doing reading my crap?!? Go back to work already! No smoke breaks for you!

*The People's Republic of Blogistan whose fearless leader is Hilly!

6 comments:

HEATHER said...

Wow that is some sick stuff!
I guess I'm going to have to get a site meter account, or maybe not.
Did you ever see the Superior Scribbler award that I gave you?

kaila said...

It is always interesting to read posts about where people's traffic comes from. Grandfather f*ing granddaughter harder? What the hell is that?????

Gypsy said...

Those are hilarious. Most people get to my site by searching for "gypsy fucking." I didn't realize that was such a fetish. Maybe it's the crystal balls.

Giggle Pixie said...

Wow, there are some really sick f@*ks on Wall Street. I hope the zit popping gig works out for that guy.

A Free Man said...

My favorite on my site for the day: "what do schizophrenics and astrophysicists have in common"

Duck said...

This is why I declined to submit my blog to search engines.

Although, one 'penis' search did come through. Apparently they really wanted their penii.