Table For One

"How many in your party, miss?"

"Well, let's see. I've been stuck in my house for two solid weeks during which ten of those days have been spent either nursing sick kids or being sick myself. And? It's not over. I've got a nasty headache and feel like I'm getting sick all over again and I think I saw my youngest tugging on his ears earlier today which means more ear infections in our cul-de-sac. So, I took this chance to escape from my house. I was supposed to meet seven of my fellow ghost hunters for dinner this evening. Because of this, I showered, went through three outfit changes, and even put on make-up! I drove 45 minutes to Alpharetta to go Christmas shopping, just so that I'd be closer to Roswell and the restaurant where we were supposed to meet. I quickly finished the last of my Christmas shopping, not stopping to savor some coffee or Godiva or window-shop because I wanted to make the 3:40PM showing of 'Twilight' which would leave me plenty of time to meet my peeps for dinner. I enjoyed two solid hours of Edward and Bella during which I refused to think about my oldest son and his continuing fever spikes and wondering if said spikes could possibly be related to some rare disease and that our family would eventually end up on an episode of 'Mystery Diagnosis.' So when the end of the movie came, I was looking forward to a text message that said, 'This restaurant! This time!' but what I got instead was, 'It's a no go.' and my excitement deflated. And when I found out that three of the seven were just a few minutes away from my current movie theater location, and when I announced I was in their vicinity, there was silence. Because they didn't want to go out to dinner as a protracted group with me. They wanted to go out to dinner with just them. And I felt like I was in high school all over again, getting picked last for basketball and eating lunch alone at my locker. And I felt ridiculous for putting on make-up, drying my hair, and changing my clothes three times. And I felt stupid for feeling so ridiculous. Because some people don't realize the hurt they inflict. And they don't realize that when you're a SAHM and haven't left your house for two weeks, and that when you have a chance at dinner with adults and adult conversation with nary a chicken finger in sight, that you grasp at that chance like a drowning woman lunging for a Baywatch lifeguard. And to find out that your hopes have been dashed by some non-adult behavior and shenanigans, well it's just misery. Misery and upset, I tell you. So, I found myself at the local Barnes & Noble buying a book to go along with my dinner because there's nothing sadder than a woman eating by herself than a woman eating by herself with nothing to read. So here I am, at your humble eating establishment, 'eating alone armor' in hand, ready for my Table for one, please."

"No problem! Follow me!"