The conversation while driving back from the grandparents' house this Easter Sunday:
J-man: Mama! Hold me!
Me: I can't, honey, we're in the car. Mama and Papa would go to jail if I held you and you would have to go live with another family.
Ty-man: And Mama and Papa would have to sleep on hard concrete beds.
Me: And there's no conjugal visits in prison.
Ty-man: Yeah, and those concrete beds would hurt Papa's back.
Me: No chiropractors in prison.
Me: Except for that murderer rapist you meet in the shower stall.
Ty-man: "Drop that soap and I'll take care of that L5 vertebra for ya!"