27 July 2009

Recipe for Badassedness

You'll need to start with 1,400 gallons of SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!


Next, crack open a "Bumblebee" Chevy Camaro:


And insert one very happy blogger for a five mile drive around Chicago. Don't forget that smidge of "Heck, yeah baby! I'm haulin' ass!"


Next, you'll need a pail full of brass cow's milk:

(Yes, those are udders. Not balls. Dude, I know my bovine anatomy.)

And you absolutely can't forget a cup of sweet and sour Avitable:


Next, you'll sprinkle in a vial of Sparklecorn:


With a pinch of glitter:


Throw in a pitcher of Funky Cold Medina:

(Yes, Father Muskrat. You are live on the YouTube!)

Of course, if you don't sift in the Bloggess's laughter, then the whole thing is just gonna fall flat:


And Oh. My. Word. Boobs, Injuries, and Dr. Pepper makes it all perfectly moist! (Yes, Crystal! I said moist!)


Oh, and? Take the whole thing 103 floors up:


And stir vigorously until it all just piddles down your legs because you're terrified of that whole 103 floors thing:


And after baking at a balmy, sunny, 85 degrees, you finally end up with an awesome time at BlogHer with the most excellent of roomies. Linda, I had an awesome time! Thank you so very much!

19 comments:

Sheila (Charm School Reject) said...

Dammit. I should've figured out how the hell to upload my freakin' pictures. I *knew* it.

Ah well. There's always next year, right? Right.

Had an insanely wicked awesome time hanging out with you babe!

Sheila (Charm School Reject) said...

Oh! But I am in the background of the Muskrat Love video! ::woot::

Hilly said...

I'm glad you had a good time! Wish I could have seen you again but geez, it's not that long of a drive to come see you whenever I want!

Patois said...

Totally looks like a blast. (Well, except the urine dribbling down.)

Molly's Mom said...

Glad you had a good time! I absolutely LOVE Chicago...it is my favorite big city. And now when I go this weekend, I think I'll have to go to the LEDGE as well : )

Crystal said...

I had so much fun with you and Linda. I hope I had minty breath because I was lookin' rough, my sista.

LceeL said...

You and Linda made such a cute couple. On the other hand - don't pay any attention to me - I'm just jealous.

sybil law said...

You are so freaking cute, and I am glad you had fun, but DAMN I want that Camaro!

Not Afraid to Use It said...

Glad you're back safe, sound and in one piece. After that hug from Avitable, I nearly expected your face to be on the back of a milk carton. :P

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Sheila - There is always next year, hon. And Avitaween!!!! Loved hanging out with you, darlin'!

Hilly - Hey, no worries sweets! We're going to hang at Avitaween. PROMISE!

Patois - Yeah. That was messy.

Molly's Mom - You'll love the Ledge!

Crystal - You were not looking rough. You looked wonderful! And I had a frakking blast with you!

LceeL - LOU!!! Loved meeting you, sweetie! You need to come to Atlanta!

Sybil Law - Oh, honey. I want it too!

NATUI - Hee hee! I love his serial killer look!

Avitable said...

I'm so glad you came and had such a good time. You seem so at ease in social situations that I'm always impressed with your confidence.

Father Muskrat said...

I can't believe you posted that. Shameful! And, beautiful.

Loved meeting you! Hope to see you and your fam around the ATL before too long, like, a few days.

Momisodes said...

You guys are so BRAVE! My palms are sweaty just looking at your pics from up there.

It was so getting the chance to meet you at BlogHer!

Hope you're feeling better.

A Free Man said...

Dammit, now I have 'Funky Cold Medina' stuck in my head - thanks you two!

You know, ain't no plans with a man
This is the 80's, and I'm down with the ladies
Ya know?
Break it down

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Avitable - Me? At ease? You should have taken my pulse. Seriously.

Father Muskrat - Oh, honey. Of course I posted it! It's blogging gold!

Momisodes - It was great meeting you, too!

A Free Man - Hee hee! No problem!

Employee No. 3699 said...

I had a great time and you are the best...even though you dragged me up 103 floors!

Seriously though, I'm glad you did or I'd have never done it.

Gypsy said...

Looks like fun!

Lynda said...

The 103 floors picture freaked me out a little (okay a lot).

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Employee No. 3699 - I'm so glad we went up 103 floors and I'm so glad we were roomies! Can't wait to show you around Atlanta some time! :)

Gypsy - It was. :)

Lynda - That's OK. It freaked me out a lot too.