First Days

The twins started back to Montessori pre-school on Monday. This year was nothing like last year. No struggling to put on shoes. No waving of arms. Minimal chaos. No tears. Just lots of excitement because we're all old pros at this. Good Lord, you'd think they were starting their first semester at M.I.T. Oh, wait, with that whole time relativity thing, that will be next month. Never mind.


Aren't they just the cutest? Fine, I am biased, no need to remind me. Even J-man got in on the action with a lunch box and backpack of his own. I figured I might as well break him in early since he starts the whole school shebang in January.

Monday was a first day for me as well. It was my first day in years, YEARS I tell you, to drive up to an office building, talk to an HR rep (Who, by the way, looked like Willem Dafoe's twin brother from another mother. Seriously. I was waiting for him to chuck a pumpkin bomb at me. I kept flinching throughout our meeting.), fill out tax forms (Pssst! Ty-man! I haven't filled out a W-4 in... well, ages! What do I do! Hello? Hello, Ty-man?), get a tour of a company where people actually sit at computers and, you know, work (Yep. That's a cube farm. Yep, those employees are prairie dogging. Ah, memories.), and meet my boss (My boss is my sorority sister/college roommate. Nepotism? Technically, no.). It was surreal. Even though I'll be doing this Social Media Blogger gig from home, I went through the motions of Welcome aboard! Glad you're here! Girl, don't even eat poppy seed bagels for the next couple of months because we may make you randomly pee in a cup, thus causing you to positively test for opiates, even if it was opiates with cream cheese, in which case we'll chuck you outta this place. Head first. It's so great having you as part of our team! I drove home with a spinning head.

And then, it happened. It being a picture for my ID badge. An ID badge I'll probably never use except for dart target practice, because oh. my. GAWD! Will you look at that train wreck?



There it is. Right there. Proof that I was a butt-first baby. My whole face is crooked, people! My left eye is higher than my right and what's with said left eye being all droopy?!? Mr. Dafoe probably thought I was getting a head start on the opiate thing. No wonder he smirked when he said, What a great photo! Must remember to un-alphabetize all his files, pumpkin bombs be damned.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm not a big advocate of change. In fact, I fear it. Even if it would do me some good, change generally makes me grumble like Old Mr. Schneider pissing and moaning about the teenagers down the street. Every time change occurs in my life, I wonder if I'll manage it, will I be good enough, will I live up to the expectations of others (which, I know I shouldn't care about but I just do anyway , thankyouverymuch), and will I come out the other side better? Or worse?

I'll let you know.