15 September 2009

So Now I'm an Anthropologist

Strip malls are a microcosm of American life. Seriously. You show me a strip mall and the stores contained within it and I can tell you what the people living in the immediate vicinity do for a living, what they're like, how they vote, etc. If your strip mall has a dry cleaners, a fast food store, and a 24-hour pharmacy then your area consists of white collar suburbanites.

Damn, I'm good. Right?

And then there's this strip mall just two miles from my house:

(Embiggen to see the store signs. I'll wait.)

Essentially, it's a tow company, tattoo shop, pawn shop, and bridal/formal wear.

To me, this screams Dang! My Oldsmobile Cutlass done quit on me again! I gotta get it towed! Wait, while I'm here, I'll just stop into the tat shop and get some ink. Maybe I'll get my girl's name on my one o' my guns! And speakin' of guns, I gotta get in that pawn shop and pick me up a Remington. Wal-Mart's too pricey and huntin' season's around the corner. And since I got my girl inked on my arm, I guess it's time for us to make Junior a legal member of the family. I'll tell Sugar Booger to get down here and pick her out a weddin' dress. Hell, I think we can swing it if it ain't more than $30.

Yep, when I see this strip mall ten times a week during my trips to and from the twins' school, I picture rednecks, with old, tired American cars, pawning anything and everything they own to get inked and get hitched.

Sometimes my neighbors scare me.

14 comments:

marty said...

Do your neighbors have teeth? I didn't see a dentist.

A Free Man said...

Nailed it. True Lives of the White and Trashy.

Ashlie- Mommycosm said...

WOW - those stores must group together in a Red Neck Pact or something. We have one near our house, too. There is a hut in the parking lot that sells drive-thru coffee and lattes. Let's just say I frequent the area - and love to people watch while I'm waiting in line.

sybil law said...

Hahahahaha!
I love living in an old neighborhood. No strip malls, but a lot of pricey boutiques and stuff, some of which have gone out of business. I'll have to take a picture of the "strip mall" by my parents' house and show you. Hilarious. A lot like yours!

Hilly said...

When I saw the Bridal Shop, I got all Sesame Street...

"Which one of these kids is doing her own thing?..."

LceeL said...

We have one near us with a Rib Shack, Liquor Store, Gun Shop and Free Clinic. Oh, and a Super Mercado. I'll swap you a Clinic for a Tattoo Parlor, 'K?

Tuli said...

The strip mall closest to me has a Dollar General and vacant space.

Jackie S. Quire said...

And the funny thing is I totally did a social geographic study of a strip mall for an assignment in university.

Ours too had a tattoo shop in the middle of the older-suburbs.

hello haha narf said...

i can't wait to visit!

Molly's Mom said...

By our old house, you'd see strip malls with bakeries, quick cash places, and smoke shops. There's metro Detroit in a nutshell.

Bucky said...

I bet you're there every day, aren't you?

Lynda said...

I look at the cars.

Yeah, I'd say you were about accurate in your assessment.

Joe said...

I thought the recovery one was a rehab place for druggies and drunks.... I'm not sure which would have been worse.

Avitable said...

Is the abortion clinic in the back?