27 January 2010

Preschoolers Ate My Brain!

When I picked up the kids from school yesterday, I noticed the schoolroom was rather empty. Most of the kids were missing. The teacher said they were all sick, with fevers.

Rather than dwell on the fact that by the time the Ty-man and I leave for Bonaire in less than two weeks we will probably be infected with this mystery fever, I've decided this is instead the beginning of a zombie contagion.

Now, wait. Hear me out. You've seen the same zombie movies I have. You know how this stuff starts. One person gets infected, and they infect two more, who in turn infect four, who in turn infect sixteen, and before you know it...

Zombies running amok. Brains everywhere. Then the cable goes out.

And it's all very "innocent." You go to work and half the office is missing. You figure they're all sleeping off last night's football-infused drunk fest. That is, until Leonard stumbles in, moaning, with torn flesh on his arm, bloodshot eyes, and a look of hunger in his eyes. And you know what he's after.

Your brains.

I'm thinking these kids are just the beginning of the Zombie Plague of 2010.

So, excuse me while I don my favorite t-shirt, trickle a bit of red corn syrup out of the corner of my mouth, and get all "walking dead." Cause I need to get ready for the forthcoming apocalypse.

Or I need to buy a ton of echinacea, hand sanitizer, and face masks.

It's gonna be a long 11 days.

11 comments:

HEATHER said...

Power load the Vitamin C and E and drink plenty of water.
I'm so excited that you are getting to go to Bonaire!! Hope you have a great time.

Tuli said...

Praying the plague doesn't hit until AFTER you get back from Bonaire. Diving with the plague would suck big rocks, me thinks.

metalmom said...

What Heather said!! STAT!!

Shall I wear my zombie shirt as a sign of solidarity?

Here's hoping the plague skips your house!!

Momisodes said...

Oy. It freaks me out when even 1 kid gets sick in my daughter's preschool class.

Definitely take care of yourselves. I'm sending healthy vibes your way.

sybil law said...

Shit. My kid was puking the other day. Should I be worried?!!!

Finn said...

If it's viral, get a neti pot and use it on a daily basis until you go away. It will keep the virus from reproducing in your sinuses.

And wash your hands, etc.

Good luck!

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Other Heather - Thanks for the advice, hon!

Tuli - Yeah, it would suck diving with a fever. I'd do it, but it would suck.

Metalmom - You should totally wear your zombie shirt. :)

Momisodes - Yeah. One kid sick, worrisome. More than one? Panic.

Sybil Law - GAH! Get out! Run!

Finn - OK. Ty-man has a neti pot and that thing just looks evil. I'll have to give it a try.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

I just read on textsfromlastnight.com this little gem: I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go. So, I figure if you are sick you are still totally fine to scuba.

A Free Man said...

I bet I, not being a fan of the genre, haven't seen the same zombie movies as you have. I was reading about echinacea today for the nursing class I'm teaching. Do you want the good news or the bad news?

The bad news - doesn't do a think to stimulate the immune system. One of them there psychosomatic effects.

The good - strangely an effective defense against zombie attacks.

Joe @ IrrationalDad said...

I know I'm not the only one that can't wait for a zombie apocalypse. I'll be pissed if I get infected early though. I wanna fight and run until I'm one of only a handful of humans left. I'm still weighing the pros and cons of setting up a stronghold in a shopping mall though.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

NATUI - BWHA! I have thrown up underwater myself. You just hold the regulator in your mouth so you don't drown. It's disgusting, but doable. Hee hee!

A Free Man - Well, hey. As long as it repels zombies, I think I'm good.

Joe @ IrrationalDad - Shopping malls are perfect zombie apocalypse holdouts! Raid the food court, set up "house" in the mattress store, and raid the J.Crew for clothes. Perfect.