19 March 2010

Kids Say the Most F'ed Up Things

Setting 1: Ty-man is in the sunroom playing "traffic jam" with kids. This means they've taken all their collectible Chevron cars from Nana and have lined them up. I walk in.

Ty-man: Do you know what your daughter just said?!?

Me: What?

Ty-man: She drove her pink convertible up to this car and said, "Get out of my way, stupid lady!" I told her that isn't nice and not how we talk to people.

Me: Yeah. She got that from me. I'll own that.

Ty-man: Glowering

Me: Hey, I've really cleaned up my language. This time five years ago, instead of saying "Get out of my way, stupid lady!" I was screaming "Move your fucking ass you fucking cow!"

Ty-man:
There is that.

Scene 2:
We're in the car driving back to the house. It's evening and the stars are out.

Ty-man:
Look! There's Venus!

J-man: Where's the penis?

Ty-man and Me: Laughing so hard we can barely breathe.

J-man: Completely confused. Where's the penis?

11 comments:

LceeL said...

don't tell him.

Logical Libby said...

Now, that would be an awesome constellation. I wonder if there would be a big one and a little one -- like the dippers.

MrsRobbieD said...

SO thats what is under Orion's belt!!

Avitable said...

Once he finds it, he's doomed!

Merrily Down the Stream said...

Well?

sybil law said...

Hahahahaha!

Muskrat said...

luckily, my 3yo just says "shit" at preschool.

marty said...

Where is the penis?

Patois said...

Hahahah to MrsRobbieD!

Joe @ IrrationalDad said...

I get in trouble for saying "crap" when my wife *accidentally* drops f-bombs, s-bombs, and the-whole-damned-alphabet-bombs.

Not fair.

A Free Man said...

I tend to get a bit frustrated when driving (which is why I prefer public transport) and when I do so, Zach often pipes up from the back seat "That car's naughty, bubba."

Damn right, boy, damn right.