Now that all three kids are in school at least four hours a day, five days a week, I'm finally making use of our gym membership that the Ty-man purchased many, many, many moons ago.
Yeah, call me Chandler.
For nearly three weeks, I've been running on the treadmills and, are you ready, lifting/pushing/pulling weights.
Me. The Weakling of Woodstock, the one who rolls her eyes at the muscle-bound men and women who sweat and puff out their cheeks while watching their muscles bulge in the mirrors, is right there alongside them, making my "giving birth" face.
What, do you ask, is the "giving birth" face?
Well, it's a grimace, really. It's a combination of OhmyGodthatfrakkinghurts! and Ican'tdothatonemoretime! with a bit of WhythehellamIdoingthis?! topped off with a generous helping of DamnI'msexy!
(OK. Maybe not that last part.)
Alas, since taking a sweaty picture of myself at the gym while trying to also lift heavy weights is damned near impossible (because I'm the clumsiest person in the universe), I don't have a picture of my actual "giving birth" face. Therefore, I give you this very poor substitute:
You're welcome.
So you drive somewhere to pay someone so you can pick up something heavy that you can BARELY lift, just so you can put it back down right where you found it?
ReplyDeleteAnd you do that a bunch followed by running on a flat hamster wheel, then you drive home?
Ha.
p.s. Woodstock is 30188.
Please, please, PLEASE don't tell me you think you need to lose weight. As it is you need diver's boots to walk outside in a mild breeze!! (diver's boots are weighted so that your feet stay on the bottom when you dive in one of those big old suits with the helmet and stuff - cause otherwise you could wind up upside down when you're down there, which makes walking on the bottom looking for pirate treasure a bit difficult.)
ReplyDeleteAnd that face is exactly why I practice yoga instead of lifting weights, lol. Well, that and I find it relaxing while seeing the same physical results.
ReplyDeleteYou ARE sexy!!
ReplyDeleteWhy are you going to the gym? You look awesome!
ReplyDeletei used to exercise, back when i worked for someone other than myself. i miss it.
ReplyDeleteglad you're using the gym membership.
You go girl. I have been chasing my 8 year old to burn off calories. Literally. He runs and I chase him. And he's faster so he laps me. And then I keep panting and chasing him as he laps me again. He runs over a mile and I run.698 of a mile. Not that I calculated it or anything.
ReplyDeleteFunctionally ReTodded - Shut it! (BTW, I live in 30189. BOO-YA!)
ReplyDeleteLceeL - No, I swear. I'm not worried about weight. When my trainer took my weight, height, age, and measurements two weeks ago, he said I'm all good. It bothers me that I strain to pick up my kids, that I get winded playing in the front yard with them, that my knees are giving out, etc. I get that age is slowly catching me, but I want to be stronger, you know?
MommyCosm - I would probably still make the face in yoga. I'm just a big wimp.
Sybil Law - Damn straight!
Avitable - Awww, shucks. :) Thanks!
Muskrat - You should totally get a treadmill for your office. Sue corporations and run at the same time!
Tracey - You totally calculated it! And I know what you mean. Chasing after them makes me winded. I want them to keep up with me!
Painful to look at, too!
ReplyDeleteOh, yes, the giving birth faces I have seen are WAY more pained than this!
ReplyDelete