14 October 2010

IRL

In real life, I've been avoiding my computer.

In real life, I'm nauseous from starting back on metformin. Eating is again a chore, not something I enjoy.

In real life, I'm fighting for my life because I don't want to be a type 2 diabetic so young.

In real life, I'm watching my kids quickly grow up and realizing my time with them is too damned short.

In real life, I'm thinking about my father who died at 67 and I fret that I'll follow in his footsteps.

In real life, I've been sitting on my front stoop, watching the neighbor's relationship with her teenage daughter blow up in her face. I hope she won't be watching the same drama at my house from her front stoop in 10 years.

In real life, I want more time. More time to parent, read, write, create, sleep, dream, live.

In real life, I want to write a book that 99.9% of you would either never read or be too embarrassed to admit you read. Refer to previous point about time.

In real life, I'm packing to go scuba diving, but I'm terrified. Ever since my near-drowning 10 years ago, my dives are overshadowed by a lingering anxiety. I worry that someday the anxiety will take away the joys of the underwater world.

In real life, I'm running nine miles and pumping iron six days a week.

In real life, I'm tired.

In real life, I'm here. Just not here. You know?

Speaking of not being here, my inaugural post at Buy-Her.com is up today. Go over and check it out. Nothing spectacular, but hey, I'm writing! Somewhere!

19 comments:

Dave2 said...

In Real Life, I've been missing you lately! I recently stayed in a HAUNTED RESORT and was hoping for a sighting so I would have an excuse to email you. :-)

Irrational Dad said...

Oh, I'm sorry, love. I chuckled when I saw the picture at the top of this post, because I was in the exact same posture when I clicked over to your site.

I have no advice other than the chin-up-one-day-at-a-time variety, but I sincerely wish the best for you and will be thinking about you. :(

Grant said...

Real life is overrated. That's why god created the internet.

LceeL said...

IRL, I would give you the BIGGEST HUGGIEST HUG you've ever had. later, after you caught your breath, you'd feel so much better.

As for that SCUBA thing, relaxed, confident, capable divers get into trouble. Divers that approach each dive with a certain amount of trepidation and caution are the ones who come home safe.

Muskrat said...

I hope you have an awesome diving trip! And, if you continue with the running, running is always better next to a large body of water. Like in Rocky III, but without the man love after you finally beat Apollo in wind sprints.

Finn said...

Yeah, I know. I know.

hello haha narf said...

for what it is worth, i would buy your book and unashamedly tell everyone how much i loved it. (because if you wrote it i would totally love it...no doubt in my mind.)

i hope your dive trip is fantastic and gives you strength to enjoy the next one even more.

love to you. oh so much love to you.

DutchBitch said...

In real life I think you are one of the most amazing friends I have met!

*SMOOCH*

sybil law said...

IRL - I absolutely adore you.
Love the picture!

HEATHER said...

Doll, I don't understand, how you can be running and pumping iron and still need to do insulin control. Is your doctor certain that you aren't a Type 1 instead? This is very troubling. ((HUGS))

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

In Real Life can be a downer sometimes, can't it?

Hope the dive is refreshing and renewing and peaceful and WONDERFUL.

Kim - Mommycosm said...

IRL I just read the other comments before posting mine. Lou pretty much said what I planned.

IRL, I'm still dreaming of a blogger meet-up in Aruba.

Kim said...

I guess I'll have to come to the ATL and see you IRL then! : ) I luvs you...XOXO.

Avitable said...

In real life, your friends in the computer miss you and love you.

Patois said...

IRL, I love your post at Buy-Her.

marty said...

What is Real Life? No such thing. Keep smiling.

debmactx said...

questions because I am nosy and you are here. Type 2 diabetes runs in my family, I admit I am ignorant about it to a degree, but I thought if you ate right and excercised you would never get it am I wrong??? I thought it was just the fat unhealthy people in my family got it and died young. I have never talked to the doctor about it, but just assumed that having a healthy life style nullified it.

Also the running 9 miles?? Didn't you just start back? How did you get there so quickly, I started back 5 weeks ago and I am super pumped about hitting 4 miles, what are you doing that I am not?

Guidance, Answers....

Shelli said...

Hugs and more hugs.

Halala Mama said...

I'm sorry - metformin is from the devil and the makers of toilet paper, I decided a long time ago. It does bad things to your system while at the same time making your B(lood) S(ugar) behave itself. Goodluck.