NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WOULD BE SWELLING!?!?
OR
MY PLASTIC SURGEON IS SUCH A SMART-ASS
OR
HOLY CRAP!? I HAVE A PLASTIC SURGEON! I'M SO BEVERLY HILLS RIGHT NOW!
Me (in email to my doctor): Your assistant recommended that I email pictures to you of my post-surgery swelling since my surgery on Monday. I’ve never had this type of surgery before and I don’t want to be a Nervous Nelly, but I want to make sure nothing is going wrong. I’ve attached three pictures of my face, one of the incision. There is no redness, drainage, heat, or fever associated with the incision. Just excessive swelling. Is this normal and at what point will it subside? Thanks for your help! Heather
Dr. Smart-Ass: Heather, the lesion I removed was a lot deeper than I anticipated. Therefore, I'm not surprised you have the swelling you are experiencing. Rest assured, you should be fine and the swelling should get better soon. Keep your head elevated when you can and it should get better.
Me: Thanks so very much for your response. I'll hang in there and just wanted to make sure everything was fine. I'll just tell everyone I'm trying out for a remake of The Elephant Man. :)
Dr. Smart-Ass: You're a shoe in for the part. ;)
Seriously? My doctor ROCKS!
9 comments:
Hahaha - your doctor is awesome. I'm glad he told you to keep your head elevated, too, because otherwise, you'd probably walk around with your head dragging on the ground.
Quasimodo ain't got nothing on you, baby.
You look gorg-
You look wonder-
Look at you!!
You went three rounds with who ... ?
Adam stole my "keep your head elevated" snark, so I'll just say... wow, that's a lot of swelling. :D
Just wear a shirt that says "You should see the other guy!"
Why Coalminer's Granddaughter, what big eyes you have! (In my best Little Red Riding Hood voice) Sorry, I couldn't resist. But seriously, I hope the swelling goes down soon.
If nothing else, show it off to that nasty neighbor while talking about the violent rage your children show when things don't go their way. Maybe then she'll shut up and stay inside.
Um... I just watched "Green Lantern" and this is exactly how things started with the villainous Hector Hammond. If your head continues to expand and you start hearing people's thoughts... or find that you can move things with your mind... then you may be infected with THE PARALLAX!! I don't think any doctor can help you with that.
No doctor from earth, anyways.
Oooh, what about Mask?!
At least there's no pain!
xoxo
Love smartass doctors. Dave is right, you might be able to read minds very soon with your embiggened head.
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