17 August 2007

Top Ten Reasons Why Owning a Minivan Sucks

Well, I've decided to initiate a weekly Friday Top 10 list because by Friday evenings my brain is mush from the previous week's happenings (read: kids). So, I'm no David Letterman, but here goes anyway.

The Top Ten Reasons Why Owning a Minivan Sucks:

10. It instantly screams suburban housewife!

9. People ding it with their shopping carts probably thinking you don't care.

8. The dang things attract Cheerios like paper clips to a magnet.

7. The only bumper stickers that look cool are those "My kid's an honor student at..."

6. The inside smells like Cheerios, sour milk, and spit up (this is actually a factory-installed option!).

5. Even though it fits four adults and three kids, two strollers and two diaper bags take up all the trunk space.

4. Dive flag stickers, listening to alternative rock, opening the sunroof, and wearing cool sunglasses just don't make it any better when you're driving the damned thing.

3. Driving it during a date night still makes you feel as if the kids are there with you.

2. They don't come in a "V8 Hemi, convertible rag top, stick shift, purple with red and orange flames" option.

1. Your supposed best friend buys you a "Soccer Mom" magnet the minute you bring it home. (TERI!)


Anonymous said...

HA! Here's a couple more...
Driving a minivan when you're single makes you feel like you're still married...
You never go hungry - there's always a french fry or two SOMEWEHRE in there.

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

Who? Me? Never!!

Wait a minute. I like the fact that I'm number 1, but is that really a list I want to be at the top of? It figures.