19 October 2007

I Shoulda Bought an Iguana

I love my cats. Really, I do. I love my cats. I love my cats. If I just keep repeating that, then maybe I won't be so traumatized about what just happened. Shiver.

This is Pirtuk (His name is the Inuit word for blizzard.) He is a Ragdoll. He's also fat, lazy, and VERY furry. Why did we get this very hairy cat? I have NO idea. I've been asking myself this same question everytime I bend over to pick up tufts of hair off the floor, pull tufts of hair out of his mouth, and clean up hairballs. I guess because he was such a cute kitten. Little did we know that this laid-back cat was also dumber than a rock and little did I know that Ragdolls not only hork up (a technical term) hairballs, they also poop them.

Case in point, today. I put the twins and J-man to bed and returned to the kitchen to clean up lunch. I spy something on the floor behind one of the high chairs. Looks like a piece of hot dog. Where did that come from? They didn't have hot dogs for lunch. Oh, wait, nope, that's a piece of cat poo. Joy. I scoop it up and chuck it, then I go over to Pirtuk and lift his tail for inspection. There, as I suspected, is a dingleberry (yet another technical term). So, I pick him up, shut the two of us up in the half bath (no escaping this time, Buster!), and grab a piece of toilet paper. I pin him down, grab the dingleberry, and pull. The whole time, I'm gagging and he's wailing. Out comes poo attached to the biggest damned hairball I've ever seen. He's still wailing and I'm flushing the offending poo-ball down the toilet.

Now, I'll post pictures of Bubba covered in yogurt and I'll include a Wikipedia link to female genitalia, but I will not take a picture of my cat's latest crap creation. Nope. Nada. Not going to happen. Instead, I will give you this picture of a sphinx cat we thought about buying four years ago. Sigh. Ugly as hell, but no hairballs.


B said...

I am a cat lover to the max! When I had my cat of 17 yrs., I learned NOT to put the hanging tinsel on my Christmas trees. She would eat it, and then, when it came out the other end, I guess it would cut her, because she would run as fast as she could thru the house, slinging poop everywhere as she went. I would then have to catch her, hold her down, and finish pulling the icycle covered in poop out of her. O what joy!
BTW, your kids are adorable! Love the "yogurt" shot of your son.
Aannndd, that sphinx cat is one of the ugliest creatures I've ever seen. I saw a pic of one on the Animal shelter website, and seriously didn't even think it was a real cat. I thought it must be some kind of pig or other creature with anorexia or something! I much prefer fat furry little blobs like my kitties are, even if they do hock up hairballs, from both ends! lol

Anonymous said...

For a second there I thought that last picture was what you pulled out! Sorry Darl'n, still no way in H*!! we are getting a sphinx. Love ya. (remember this day well, for I've finally left a comment)

Anonymous said...

dmWhat an interesting cat! Mine prefers the classic shrimp position.

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Unknown said...

TPIWWP of the crap creation. I am so disappointed.

On another note, I'm glad to see that the Wikipedia article about female genitalia has grown to include information about "altering" the genitalia...WITH A PICTURE!! :-)