16 January 2008

Facebook Issues

OK, so up until a few days ago, I had a Facebook account/profile. When I began writing for Burt Reynolds' Mustache two months ago, I noticed it had a Facebook account. So, as a writer for said blog, I figured that I too should be on Facebook so that those who stumble across the 'Stache via Facebook could get to know one of the writers in the same way.

Then Calamity over at Ask And Ye Shall Receive was kind enough to mention, "Dude! You stupid bitch! Your name is all over this blog! People can find you! Freaks! Scary nutters! Run!"
Disclaimer - OK. Maybe she didn't say it like that. Maybe she was nicer about it. Still. I was freaked!

In the name of privacy (please, pronounce as if you're British - like Madonna snort), I removed my grandfather's last name from my profile, removed the link to my elementary school, and even backtracked one of the two sites that list my maiden name and removed all traces from there. I also made sure my Gmail account didn't show my name, just my blogger "alias." Whew!

Then, I realized, my Facebook account! I go on, attempt to change my display name in my profile, and it wouldn't let me. I couldn't be just Heather or Coal Miner's Granddaughter. I had to be Heather Ty-man'sLastName.

Mother. Puss. Bucket.

So, what could I do?

I deleted my Facebook account.
I know, Fab. I know. You're heartbroken. You couldn't function all weekend. I know it was that and not the third draft of your book. Wuss.

Sadly, I had just reconnected with a sorority sister I haven't seen in forever, a sister who found me through Facebook.

So, in the interest of privacy, acting like a total lunatic, and - of course - sticking it to The Man, help me come up with a Facebook name.

Heather Somebody. Heather Whatsherboobs. Heather InHiding.


Then, I'll come back.

Until then, I'll be up under my quilt, in a fetal position, watching Arnold Schwarzenegger in Eraser.


Miss Britt said...

How about you just lock your doors instead?

Gypsy said...

How about Heather Nunya? As in Nunya Business.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Britt - Yeah, that would be too easy and I'm all about making anything and everything more difficult!

Gypsy - Ooh, I like Nunya. Nunya Beeswax!

Not Afraid to Use It said...

It won't take Heather Coalminer? You would think that would be like Blackstone or Redman? Ya know?

Avitable said...

Really? Wow, that's a bit crazy, you know.

Maybe you're the crazy one the rest of us have to watch out for.

/inches away slowly

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Andrea - Nah. That's my maiden name that someone could use to find me.

NATUI - Ooooo Heather Blackstone.... so very soap opera. I like! I like!

Avitable - No, I'm not crazy /twitches/ not at all /licking favorite butcher knife - maniacally smiling/

Unknown said...

Uh, so you're so twitchy about it that you removed your name from everywhere but then tell what your maiden name is in the comments? Color me confused.

Oh, and how about Heather Soccer Mom? :-)


Cricky said...

you're now officially my hero. I couldn't even figure out how to work that facebook thing...so I'll stick with the kiddies on myspace for awhile.

Unknown said...

Oh. I didn't think about that being a possibility... Duh. :)

The Ferryman said...

Just use my last name. It's always been your secret fantasy to be married to me anyway...