10 June 2008

Dialog, Part 9

Date: Yesterday

About 10:15 AM.

A Montessori pre-school located in Marietta.

Purpose: Talk to the kids about scuba diving. Simple, right?

How old are you?

Various little kids: I'm four! I'm five! I'm four, too!

Me: Well, did you know that when you're ten, if you're parents say it's OK, that you all can become scuba divers?

Little Boy: Well, when I'm 10, my daddy's gonna take me stuba diving.

Little Girl: When I turn eight, my daddy's gonna teach me to stuba dive.

Another Little Boy: When I'm six, I'm goin' stuba diving!

Little Boy to Me: How old are you?

Me: I'm 36.

Little Boy and Little Girl look at one another, mouths open in awe, astonished that I'm still breathing since I'm obviously ancient.

Me: This is a BCD. This is the vest I wear that not only lets me float on the surface, but it also holds my air tank on my back.

Little Girl: Miss Heather, will you read me this book about seashells and the ocean?

Me: Sure, if Mrs. B says it's OK.

Little Boy: Is this your book? It's got fish on it!

Me: Yes, it's my book. We'll look at it a little later. OK, now the BCD also...

Other Little Boy: Put it on! Put it on!

OK, ten little ones a bit more difficult to keep on track than just three.

Me: Do any of you have any questions?

Little Girl: Sharks bite, don't they?

Little Boy: Can I have your fins?

Another Little Girl: My daddy went stuba diving an... an... he brought me a stawfish... for me an... an... my gramma. An... an... it was... it was yellow... and I'm gonna give it to you.

Another Little Boy: I wanna see your stuba tomputer!

Mrs. B: OK, kids, tell Miss Heather thank you!


Me: Thanks for having me!

The kids walk out the door for recess and I collapse on the floor. I'm currently checking "Montessori teacher" off the list of things I could maybe handle.


Avitable said...

They just steamrolled right over you, didn't they? Heh.

Not Afraid To Use It said...

I'll bet you never thought you'd go home and tell yourself Thank god I have only three.

Anonymous said...

OK, jealous that you have a Montessori school close by. The closest to us is over 45 minutes and with the cost of gas these days, not gonna happen.

I volunteer at Princess's kindergarten and check kindergarten teacher off my list each week! You need A LOT of energy to do that day in and day out!

Donna said...

Yeah, I'm not exactly good with little kids, which is probably why my kids run rampant through our house.
We have a routine that consists of getting up some time in the morning and eating at least three times a day, it kind of ends there. You're an innocent kid only once in your life, why take that away too early.
Now, this school is interesting. I've never heard of it but now I want one; I've always thought school was too regimented. Good luck trying to get one of those in these woods!

Willie G said...

Used to own and operate a 180 student child care facility, cuteness and insanity all rolled into one. Your story makes me remember why the optimal phrase is "used to own" :-)

Lori said...

Hey, Heather! I've been absent from the Blog Universe for a while but I just had to come and check in with you. I'm so sorry you had to deal with a troll but I know he or she just had to try to spoil things for you cause you're so frickin awesome.
Very happy you had such a great anniversary - your Smoochy pic was adorable and your new ring ROCKS.
And the Carribean? I'm so jealous I have to stop writing now or I'll start to sound a little troll-y myself.

RiverPoet said...

Ha, "stuba diving!" I wanna doh stuba dibing too!

Glad you escaped with your wetsuit!

Peace - D

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Avitable - Oh, much steamrolling.

NATUI - No shit!

MommyCosm - Honey, that's not the closest one! The closest one is three miles away and the twins start there in August. Ty-man's cousin is a kindergarten teacher and has the patience of Job.

Donna - Ha! You and I were separated at birth.

Willie G - Damn. You were a brave man.

Lori - Glad you're back! Woo hoo!

Momma - That and they pronounced my name "Miss Heaber!" Seriously.

Gypsy said...

Ow. My head is killing me now. ;)

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Gypsy - You and me both, hon.