09 June 2008

Shiny and New

I like to imagine that the rings on my left ring finger are an outward symbol of my marriage. If you want to see the state of my marriage, just look at my ring. If you want to see the state of any marriage, just look at the rings because they tell a story. And yes, at the end of this post you'll get to see mine!

At first, there's the engagement ring. That perfect, gorgeous diamond. Is it round? That's for the simple, un-fussy bride-to-be. Then there's the marquis, a cut as regal as it's name. And my personal favorite, the emerald cut. It's bit square, like me, but not quite. Of course, the princess cut says it all.

When you're first married, the ring(s) on your left ring finger are new. That diamond is shiny and brilliant and the wedding band sparkles and catches the light, just like that brand-new, minutes-old marriage. Everything is fresh, unsullied, and you're just learning about the facets of your relationship with this person. Oh, you may have been together for several years, but there's now a new dimension, a new cut - if you will, to your relationship. There is now a set of vows, witnesses, pictures, and a piece of paper, making one plus one a union.

As a marriage progresses, as all marriages do, there are stumbles, a loss of newness, dings, and smudges. Like the ring itself, the sparkle and shine of the diamond turns dull and the gold becomes scratched and faded. If you don't care for the precious gem and metal given out of love, it becomes something akin to a gumball machine ring. This holds true for the marriage itself. Every now and then you have to stop, take a breath, and notice that your ring, your marriage, has lost its luster. It's then that you take the time to clean it and make it shine. The scratches on the gold are still there, giving it character, but the diamond now shines with a brilliance it once saw when it was new.

And, if you're lucky, you'll add to that ring a few more sparkles, a few more shines, to symbolize the years you've added to your togetherness, the smiles and laughter, the joys. And those gems? Those new bands? Have to be cared for as well, or they too will dull with age.

When I look at my rings, I see Ty-man and me. I see the sort-of square emerald-cut diamond that so perfectly represents my inner-geek and the need to break away from the Tiffany-cut norm. The yellow gold is the inner sunshine I so wish to project. My two thin bands are understated and simple because anything else would have been too much. For years, this was my left ring finger and it has perfectly fit my finger and who we are. While in Antigua, my gracious Ty-man added more. Those five emeralds represent the five members of our family and the birthstone of May, our wedding month. All these rings together, when shining and lustrous, represent the 13 wonderful years of our married lives together.

Sure, these rings will get dirty with dishwater, 409, sunscreen, makeup, food, Desitin, all the things that make up our lives. The diamond will get dirty and a film will cover the luster. But, hopefully, I'll keep looking at my ring, and my marriage, notice the loss of sparkle, and "clean up." And when you see my ring finger blinding you from afar you'll know that my marriage to the Ty-man is as beautiful as the rings I wear.


RiverPoet said...

Heather -

What a beautiful post and what a lovely tribute to your man and your marriage. :-)

I have a ring story, too, but I'll save it for my blog on one of those days when I am blocked.

May you have plenty more years together to alternately dull and shine those rings together.

Peace - D

Miss Britt said...


My $125 for the set ring is broken in a drawer somewhere.


Donna said...

That was beautifully put.

Gypsy said...

That was lovely. Swoon.

I just cleaned my engagement ring today, actually. Still waiting for the wedding band. Maybe next year. ;)

That Chick Over There said...

Jason doesn't wear his ring. I guess I'm screwed.

LOL! :)

Just kidding. Beautiful post!

Not Afraid To Use It said...

What a beautifully sentimental post, H. Your addition is lovely. My wedding rings are my favorite set of jewelry. Hands down.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Momma - Thanks, hon, and can't wait to hear your ring story!

Britt - Time for a new ring, sweetie! I'm thinking a trip to Tiffany's while you're in NYC.

Donna - Thanks.

Gypsy - I'll keep my ring fingers crossed.

Chick Over There - Ha! Time to staple that thing to his finger!

NATUI - Awesome, hon. My rings are my faves, too.