Election Reflections

After finally recovering from my 15. hour. day. at the Rose Creek precinct, I have a few thoughts about this year's general midterm election.

Ahem.

• The polls open at 7AM. Even if Mr. Hapless Voter was unaware of this time, walking into the polling place at 6:10 AM with eight poll workers scurrying about in utter chaos, with voting machines locked up behind red seals and asking Are ya'll open?, we were justified in giving him eight eat shit and die because we haven't had our coffee yet looks.
• Neither the Ty-man nor myself can stand our Georgia House Representative. I voted for her Democratic opponent. Ty-man couldn't bring himself to vote for a Democrat, so he wrote in my name. Yes, my fellow Americans, a vote for me is a vote for apathy. Vote for Heather!
  
• Dear Oblivious Voter: If you walk in to our polling place and walk past THREE signs asking you to turn off your cell phone before entering the voting area and then your cell phone rings (loudly) while I'm handing you your ballot card and then I ask you nicely to please shut it off and then you smart-assedly reply Oh, fine, and I'll just hang up on them while I'm at it, I am TOTALLY justified in shoving said ballot card up your nose. Sideways.
• Being in a total news-vacuum the entire day was refreshing. I hate that election day has become the "Super Bowl" of network news. I liked not knowing who was ahead of whom.
• Dear little 20-something airhead: Yeah, you deserved "Story Time with Heather." You showed up an hour before closing at my precinct, not yours. Then, you rolled your eyes at me while I directed you to the correct precinct just two streets over (Oh, please. You could totally get there and vote by 7. Yes you could! Don't look at me in that tone of voice!). Like it was my fault that you didn't double-check with the elections office to make sure where you needed to vote. For your lack of planning and being an eye-roller, I hope you enjoyed me telling you the story of Election 2000, an election I voted in while your 10-year-old brain was too busy salivating for N*Sync. Yeah, I drove an hour in order to make it to Cumming, because I hadn't sent in my new address, all so I could vote for the presidential candidate of my choice, with nary an Oh. My. GAWD. Uphill. In the snow. Both ways. Danged whippersnappers.
  
• To the guy who was our precinct's 1,000th voter? And got excited about it? And got even more excited when I gave him a sugar-free grape Lifesaver because of said status as the 1,000th voter? You made my damned day, dude.
  
• To the total asshole who walked into our precinct, verbally abused all eight of us poll workers with your snide and rude comments, scared your fellow voters, VOTED (yes, you voted), and then proceeded to ILLEGALLY take pictures inside the polling place because having the voting machines inside a church violated your civil rights? Fuck. Off. First off, you had a month to drag your ugly butt down to the secular library to participate in early voting. Not only that, but you taking pictures of people actively voting at the machines violated a Georgia state law and yes, I would, if I had to do it all over again, grab your arm again. Except this time I would put you in a headlock and detain you until the police arrived so I could show them the evidence on your phone. But your chickenshit ass squirmed away from my weak elbow death-grip, shouted to everyone within earshot "She touched me!!!!" and ran like the worthless douchebag you were. Next time you come in with that attitude and proceed to break state law? I'll do more than violate your civil rights. Don't cross a cross poll worker. More specifically, don't cross me.
• This election cycle, I voted Libertarian/non-incumbent. It was so danged refreshing that I smiled as I turned in my ballot card. I might have skipped, too.

Thank goodness it's all over. Oh, wait. I guess we'll have people fighting over the Oval Office in 2012. Which means this all starts again in just under six months. Dang...

20 years, 6 months, and 4 days ago...

... I became a registered voter in West Virginia. Two days after my 18th birthday (because my birthday was on a Saturday that year and the Board of Elections office was closed) I became a true card-carrying American. I could vote and have a say in the running of my country, state, county, and city. I registered as a Democrat and felt like I had truly arrived. It took me over two years after my 16th birthday to attain my driver's license, but by God I was spot on with my voter card.

I don't remember who was running for what in that year's May primary. I do remember voting and working at my local precinct as a clerk. I sat with a thick book containing the names and addresses of all the registered voters in our area and it was my responsibility to look up the person to determine if they were eligible to vote. As a brand-new voter (not to mention 18-year-old) I suddenly felt grown up. Responsible. I had arrived.

Throughout college, I dutifully had my father apply for my absentee ballots. During the 1992 Bush Sr./Clinton election, I remember getting hassled by my Republican sorority sister roommates for my Democratic voter status. I stayed up late the night after my ballot arrived, long past my sisters' bed times, to make my selection in peace. Without them looking over my shoulder, I placed my ballot on a thin piece of Styrofoam and punched the proper holes with my bent paper clip. William Jefferson Clinton received one vote from a 20-year-old out-of-place hillbilly in Georgia. The next morning, my room was plastered in Bush/Quayle campaign signs.

When I permanently moved to Georgia in 1994, my third day at my new home saw me applying for a Georgia driver's license and registering to vote. I found myself three months later staring at a ballot with Newt Gingrich's and Ben Jones's names for U.S. Congress. I voted for neither because I couldn't, in good conscience, vote for a reptile OR a man who played a man named after a woman's anatomy, to represent the good people of Gwinnett county in Congress.

My 16 years of Georgia have been hit and miss. I usually remember to show up at the primary and general elections, but I tend to forget the minor "vote on this bond!" elections. After moving from Cumming to Woodstock in 2000 and forgetting to change my address, I drove 45 minutes to an elementary school in Forsyth county in order to vote in the highly-contested Bush Jr./Gore election. The lines were brutal but it was worth it to have my voice heard. And yes, I voted for the younger Bush that year.

My political leanings have changed in the last 20 years. I've gone from working-man WV Democrat, to Independent, to tentative Republican, to disgruntled Republican, to flaming happy Libertarian. Still, I'm right back where I started - working at an election polling place and voting. I clerked the 2010 Georgia primary and primary run-off at the Rose Creek precinct and I plan on being there for the general election. Instead of a book, I now sit in front of a computer and rather than handing the voter a paper ballot, I give them a card with a chip. Two decades later, I'm still proud to be a registered voter, I continue to be in awe of our democratic process, I grumble when my candidate loses and cheer when he/she wins, and I always make sure to thank the voter across from me for taking time from their day to make their voice heard.

Because we all need encouragement that one decision, one selection does make a difference.

What Would You Do?

As I write this post, it's still early in the day Tuesday. The voting is nowhere near complete and the winner is far from being determined. I'm not going to use this post to celebrate or lament a win or loss. What I want to do is start a discussion, something that will get us all thinking. So, everybody who reads this post today, put in your two cents. Subscribe to the comments. Let's get a discussion going. Here are the two questions I want you to answer:

If you were elected to the office of President of the United States, what would be your first task?

If you were elected to the United States Congress, what would be your first task?

Here are my answers.

My first task as President would be to dissolve the government agency known as the Internal Revenue Service. There would no longer be a federal income tax. Instead, I would work to put into place a federal retail sales tax program. This is also known as the Fair Tax program.

My first task as a member of Congress would be to work to establish term limits to the offices of Senator and Representative. Personally? I think no one should serve more than two senatorial terms (12 years total) and no more than four representative terms (eight years total).

What would you guys do?

Michigan and Florida Are Insignificant?

OK, I never blog about politics or elections. I mean, I did joke about Mike Huckabee looking like Evita Peron. That was warranted. But, I have a question and a beef that I must ask and get off my chest.

Ready?

Any Floridians or Michigan-ites who happen to read this and who happen to be Democrats, please comment and let me know what you think. Or if you're neither? Comment anyway. I want the opinion of my fellow Americans (no Tricky Dick jokes, please).

Where the hell does the Democratic National Committee (DNC) get off telling Michigan and Florida Democrats that their primary votes don’t count because their state governments decided to have primaries contrary to when the DNC wanted them? What. The. Fuck?! (Yes, this time I typed out fuck. This? Warrants it.)

The last time I checked, this is America (getting my General Patton face on – proselytizing in front of an American flag up on a large stage, thank you very much). If I’m registered, then my vote should count on whatever day elections are held in my state. Presidential election? Counted. School bond election? Counted. Voting for dog catcher? Counted. Republican? Democrat? Libertarian? Independent? Counted. Counted. Counted. And counted. There should be no question regarding the counting of votes in this country. This should hold true for your vote, Ty-man’s vote, my mom’s vote, and the vote of every Michigan-ite and Floridian – every flipping American. What I need to know is where is the outcry? Where are the mass protests? Why have those two states been quiet? If I had woken up one morning and found out that either party was stating that Georgia votes wouldn’t count in our February primary, I would have been knocking down some doors and telling said party to go fuck themselves and I wouldn’t have relented until my vote counted, because I’m an American and my vote will count, dammit, as is my right. It’s not up to my party to decide if my vote will count, it’s up to me and my presence or lack thereof at the polling place.

Gad, every damned time I hear the news and the lack of inaction regarding the counting of votes in the Michigan and Florida primaries toward the Democratic nominee I just want to scream. I would like to take the DNC and Howard Dean and shove them down a toilet drain. Seriously. It inflames me. Can’t you tell?

So, that’s what I want to know. What do you guys think? I know there are Floridians and Michigan-ites who read my little blog. I want to know how you guys feel. Cause I’m severely pissed about it and I don’t live in either state and don’t even count myself as Democrat.

This is All I've Got

So, you think she went loco because Huckabee took the Iowa Caucuses? I mean, I can hear the exchange between Brit and the cops now.

Damn that Huckabee! He wasn't suppooooooosed to take the GOP win! (said with much whining)

It was supposed to be Mitt! Mitt Rooooomney, I tell you!

Waaaaaa!!!! Obama and Mitt! NOT Obama and Huckabeeeeeeeeeee! Mitt's rich! Huckabee's just a fat guy in a recovering fat guy's boooooodeeeee! Waaaaaaa!!!!!!

Well, OK. Maybe that's not how it went down. But, that's how I felt.

Not that I like Mitt. I just detest Huckabee more.

Dang. Slow day.

Yeah, as you can tell, I got nothin'.

By the way, is it just me or does Huckabee look a bit like Evita Peron in that picture?

Don't cry for me Des Moines, Iowa!

Caucus, Schmaucus

OK, yes, you guessed it. This is a politically-charged post. But, trust me. You'll snicker through most of it.

Politics are important to me. My Republican mother worked the polls in West Virginia during every election. My Democrat father read the papers and stayed informed. I vote in each and every election and I stay current on candidates and their views. I don't vote for a person because of their party affiliations or because Oprah tells me to. I vote based on how that candidate's ideas and political beliefs can better my life as a tax-paying American.

So, of course, I've got the news on, running in the background. Unless you've just crawled out of a hole, were born yesterday, or have time-traveled back to 2008, from an apocalyptic future, to save John Connor from Arnold Schwarzenegger (whew!), you should know that today is the Iowa caucus. Everyone is a-flutter. Who will win? Who will drop out? Who will the drop-outs endorse? Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

So, I'm having my morning mug of joe, watching on-the-street interviews and I see/hear this:

Scene - Iowa bowling alley
Reporter: So, who are you voting for?
Woman: Hillary Clinton.
Reporter: Why?
Woman: I think it's time we had a woman in the White House.

Wait, wait. Back the bus up.

We're choosing our President based on candidates' sex organs?

Wha?

No, "Gee, I like her views on health care." or "Her ideas about fighting terrorism are swell." or even "I get warm and fuzzy when I read her policy regarding education."

Nothing.

This woman made her choice based on the fact that Hillary Clinton has a vagina rather than a penis.

Well. Damn.

If that's the case, let's just get rid of ALL the current candidates and replace them with porn stars. Because if this race is about genitalia, none of the current presidential candidates can measure up.

That we know of.....

Wow, did this post go pear-shaped or not?