11 October 2007

I Love Zip Ties...

...in fact, if Congress would allow marriage between humans and inanimate objects, I would ditch the Ty-man for a lifetime supply of zip ties. They are the greatest thing since Ritter Sport Edel-Bitter 71% Kakao bars (but, that's a whole other blog post). Anyway, back to zip ties. They. Are. Awesome. Allow me to explain.

We have a half-bath on our main floor and the toilet in said half-bath has been the bane of my existence for the last two years. About every week, the stupid chain that connects the flapper assembly to the lift rod comes loose from the flapper. (Yes, I had to Google "toilet parts" to find those technical terms, otherwise I would have said "the stupid chain that connects the rubber disc thingy to the plastic arm thingy.") That means that once a week, during which time much cussing ensues, the lid is removed from the back of the toilet, and the chain is reconnected, otherwise the stupid toilet won't flush. Amazing how a small, inexpensive part that can be so easily fixed causes so much heartache and grief. Anyway, on Sunday, when the chain disconnected for the millionth time, I decided I had had it. It was war.

I went down to Ty-man's play room (read: room full of computer equipment, cables, and DVDs) and retrieved his cannister of zip ties and reconnected that damned chain to the idiot flapper with a zip tie. That sucker isn't breaking now, by golly! As of this blogging, my half-bath toilet is happily working, flushing consistently, and my right hand and forearm no longer have to venture into the muck of the back of the toilet.

This got me to thinking about all the other wonderful things you can do with zip ties. Let's see... You can attach a mouthpiece to a scuba regulator (and just about repair any of your scuba equipment) with zip ties. All of our computer/electronic equipment cables are kept neat and tidy with zip ties and my father the cop kept zip ties in his uniform hat band in case of "more perps than handcuffs" emergencies. I fixed the twins' toy stroller wheel with a zip tie (it kept falling off) and I'm sure there are plenty of S&M uses for zip ties that we won't go into here. Not like I would know what those uses are, but I'm just sayin'.

Anyhow, let us all give thanks to the humble, yet versatile, nylon one-piece zip tie. Go to Home Depot or Lowes and purchase for yourself a whole bunch of them in different sizes. Keep them around the house like you keep band-aids. Zip ties, since 1958, making your world a little bit easier to connect. (Like that ad tag line? Made it up myself.)

1 comment:

Mr. Fabulous said...

I use them to tie the hookers up. Works like a charm!