Future Cult Leaders of America

So, Friday evening and Saturday afternoon were spent volunteering, as a judge, for the Georgia Academic Decathlon state competition.

I see all of you shaking your heads wondering, "What is this geek b.s. of which Heather speaks?"

The US Academic Decathlon is, and I quote,

... a team competition wherein students match their intellects with students from other schools. Students are tested in 10 categories: Art, Economics, Essay, Interview, Language and Literature, Mathematics, Music, Science, Social Science, and Speech.

Yep, you got it. These kids spend two days taking ten tests. Can you say nerd brain-drain?

Well, I participated in Academic Decathlon in high school and when my high school teacher friend, Jenny found out, she immediately volunteered me as an interview judge. So, once a year, for the last five years, I interview 12 of these students. They come from all walks of life, have a myriad of interests, and all have hopes, dreams, and aspirations. I have interviewed 60 high school students total over these five years. Some want to be politicians. Others are aiming to become doctors, small-business owners, military officers, lawyers. You name it, I've interviewed it.

Then this past Friday, there came Andrew.

Andrew's résumé noted "Interests - metaphysics, theology, architecture"

OK, I thought, he's interested in designing churches. Maybe he's interested in designing cathedrals and such.

Riiiiiiiiiight. Think again, Heather.

I asked Andrew, "Tell us about your interest in metaphysics, theology, and architecture. How are these three things tied together?" Then, I planted a smile on my face, waiting to hear how all these metal, warehouse-looking churches may be inexpensive, but they are fugly, and how young Andrew wants to bring back the cathedrals of old Europe and expand America's theological architecture.

Well, that's what I would have said.

Here's what actually came out of his mouth:

Well, I want to build an artificial island, like the ones off the coast of Thailand. (ed. note: Poor thing got it wrong. There are no artificial islands off the coast of Thailand, but there are plenty off the coast of Dubai in the U.A.E.) I want to make my island a domed island. It will be a utopian society and totally self-sufficient. All the food we'll need will be grown inside the dome. The waste we produce will power the island. It will be self-contained. Anyone can live there, anyone of any faith, but there will only be Christian churches because that's the only right church.

Then, Andrew went on to explain his interest in metaphysics, that he believes he can heal himself with the power of his mind. And he's done it, too! He's healed his sprained ankle with the power of his mind. With enough practice, he feels he can heal cuts, cancer, anything. He was also very disparaging of his classmates, knowing that he's stronger and faster than all of them.

At this point, the interview time was coming to an end. Friend Toni and I thanked him for his time, making sure to keep our faces neutral.

After he left, I said, "There goes a member of the FCLA."

Toni replied, "The Future Community Leaders of America?"

"Nope," I said. "The Future Cult Leaders of America."