Reunited, and it feels so good!

Oh, yeah. That's right. Me and Not Afraid to Use It? Together again. And Fab? Me eating Mrs. Fab's soup?

Yeah, whateva. Just wrap your noggin around this sordid tale.

So, we hooked up on Friday. Lunch at the Cheesecake Factory. See, NATUI is in town for the next couple of weeks while her worldly possessions are shipped from one end of the country to the other (brave woman). Mr. NATUI has been transferred and NATUI and the kids are shacking up with the 'rents. Cool.

Anyhoo, I digress. The kids and I headed down to Perimeter mall for a fabulous lunch of toys on the floor, whole milk dribbles, and zwieback toast goobers. NATUI was a trooper. Even though she's a mom of two, this experience allowed her to say to the hubby, with confidence, "Hell, no! Three ain't the magic number!" I'm so happy to be a poster-child for oral contraceptives!

So, the bill came and went with our American Express Delta Skymiles cards.

Yes. We have the same credit card.

See where this is going? 'Cause we sure as hell didn't!

NATUI hung with the twins while I carted J-man off to the ladies' room for a diaper change. Then, we traded kids and off I went with Bubba and Miss-Miss for their diaper changes (GOD! I need to potty-train them.). While this occurred, our cards came back. NATUI signed off on one receipt, I signed off the other. Off we went for minivan retrieval and the strapping in of kids (Seriously, 5-point restraint systems? Getting my kids into the car is like getting three drivers ready for a NASCAR race.) An hour later, we were off.

Later that evening, I head off to Kroger for the requisite milk, bananas, and baby food. Swipe the card in the self-checkout, walk over to sign the receipt, look down and realize, "Hey, wait! My name's not NATUI!?!? It's CMG!"

Dudes, OK, I realize her real name isn't NATUI. Seriously. It's not on her credit card, either. Like I'm gonna reveal that here. I mean, I guess I could make up a name. Hortense Winklestein. Prudence Finkleman. Nah. Maybe not.

So, anyway, I've just hollered out that "Holy crap! This isn't my card! I must have grabbed NATUI's card by mistake! She's friggin' two hours from here! How are we gonna exchange cards?!? Yo! Kroger lady! I need to cancel this charge and ring everything up again and charge it on my card."

Her response? You're gonna love this. This is why identity theft is soooo rampant in this country.

"I can't cancel the charge. Customer service is closed. Just sign the receipt with her name."

Seriously. I kid you not. Welcome to the 21st century. I may as well go ahead and publish my Social Security number on this site. It's 2....

Really? You thought I'd just put it out there? Not bloody likely.

So, Saturday I drove to south of Atlanta, hooked up with NATUI, met her adorable little ones (heard all about Little Bird's baby doll), and had this orgasmic pork burrito at a local Mexican restaurant. We figured out our illegal charges to one another's card (my card took a trip to Wal-Mart and Kohl's) and said good-bye, double-checking our wallets.

So, which of you blogging buddies wants to hook up with me next?