Sexy Who? Wantin' Me to Convert to What?

OK, first off. If any of you lovely readers o' mine out there in the blogverse are Mormon...

I mean no disrespect. In fact, I've got big respect for anyone of any faith. I seem to be lacking in the "God gene" present in those with so much faith in their Maker. Me? Organized religion and a faith in the unseen is a mystery.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.

When I was a kid, I remember the odd occasion when a couple of young men would come to door and introduce themselves as Mormons wanting to tell us about God. My dad would politely thank them but shoo them off and then, after closing the door, mumble under his breath, "Goddamned Mormons." We, you see, were Presbyterian. Predestination, Apostle's Creed, all that.

As a young married woman, living in our first house, we were far enough off the beaten path to not receive visitors of the faith-based persuasion. In this house, though, the tables have turned. Jehovah's Witnesses come quite regularly and young Mormon men have been by twice. The first time was our first month in the house, on the day of our housewarming party. The second time? In 2002, while we were at the Salt Lake City Winter Olympics. How ironic.

Whenever these young Mormon missionaries come by, I politely thank them, tell them I admire what they're doing, but that we're not interested. But not anymore! Cause I've seen this:



Oh, yeah baby! This is the brain child of Mormons Exposed, a calendar of twelve sexy, young Mormon men just back from their two-year missions. The info page states:

Usually seen riding their bicycles and preaching door-to-door, these hunky young men of faith explode with sexuality on each calendar page. Hand-selected for their striking appearances and powerful spiritual commitment, the "devout dozen" are stepping away from the Mormon traditions of modest dress, and "baring their testimony" to demonstrate that they can have strong faith and be proud of who they are, both with a sense of individualism and a sense of humor.

Dear Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints:
Please send these young, virile men to my door. I may not convert, but I'll certainly invite them in for a caffeine-free soda and some "baring testimony." No slamming of doors, I promise! There might be inappropriate questions, such as, "Would you take off your shirts?" and "Would you lick this calendar?" But, I promise, it will all be done with the utmost respect.

And did I mention licking?

Sincerely,
Heather