17 June 2008

Sitemeter Idiocy

Here we go ladies and gents, it’s time again for more Site Meter Silliness! Woo hoo! Let’s deconstruct:

sorority cross-stitch site: The best part about this search? Some bored Department of Labor flunky Googled this at 1:26PM on tax day! Gotta love our government at work!

pasty young one: OK, I get that you Irish probably don’t get much sun and that a suntan isn’t on your priority list. But really? You don’t want a “dark young one?” I would think you’d want variety.

list of cult leaders in America: Yeah, just because I met a member of the Future Cult Leaders of America, that does not mean that I’m a portal for finding cult leaders in this country! GAD! Calling Warren Jeffs, Charlie Manson, and Jim Jones! Table for three in Hell!

“vaseline covered” anus: Are you shitting me? (Hee hee, get it? Shit, anus… never mind.) Somebody in Alabama wants to know about anal sex? And finds my site? O.M.F.G.

sexual harassment coal miners: Yes, I’m sure sexual harassment is rampant in the coal mining industry. But you know what? It’s a dangerous job. Those guys could die tomorrow. Sexual harassment is a release for them. Just let ‘em do it.

what you do as a coal miner:
You. Mine. Coal. Seriously. You needed to perform a Google search on that? Oh, and they sexually harass others, according to the previous search item.

itchy ass syndrome:
Honestly? Do I need to be reminded of this every time I look at my Site Meter stats? Great, now I'm itching just thinking about it.

no penalties, no reprisals –
This is the place, sugar.

crack whore confessionals –
Dude, seriously? AGAIN?!? I’m never gonna live the title of that post down…

wow no coal down –
Wha? Friggin’ Germans.

wv coal miner slang –
Uh, let's see. Coal. Coke. Strip-mine. Cave-in. That do it for you?

Hope you all enjoyed it, until the next time when I have nothing to write about and I let the crazies and their Google search terms write my post for me!


Avitable said...

Lubricated anuses and coal mining seem to go hand in hand.

Willie G said...

Too funny. I always knew when my uncle came out of the mines all covered in soot that it gave my aunt a special feeling for hard-working man. I guess I never realized his fellow miners probably looked at him the same way!!

Not Afraid to Use It said...

I love these posts. I get some really weird hits on my site meter as well. Makes you wonder what in the hell people are thinking about sometimes. Makes you glad they aren't your neighbor.

Expat No. 3699 said...

"You. Mine. Coal." Ya think?

Too funny!

Have a great day.


Donna said...

Eee-Gad, that's funny. I think the kinkiest search I've gotten was barefoot housewives ... I'm wondering how disappointed they were when there were no photos.

K.C. said...

I bet you are so funny with your kids. How fun to have a mom like you... Kayce

That Chick Over There said...


You're welcome. :)

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Avitable - You would think.

Willie G - Kudos to your aunt, 'cause when I see a sexy, burly man all covered in soot, I just wanna... shove him in the shower and hose him down with Dove soap.

NATUI - Most of the time I don't believe they truly think those Google searches through.

Employee no. 3699 - Thanks, hon!

Donna - Yeah, they were probably broken-hearted about that one.

K.C. - Thanks, hon! What a compliment. Actually, I think it's probably frustrating to have a mom like me. "Mooooom! Get off the 'puter!"

Bucky - OK, you? Suck.

That Chick - You suck, too!

Willie G said...

Yeah, me too. But if I remember right (been a long time ago) it was Ivory. I think the mines furnished the miners with cases of Ivory soap. The great big bars that you broke into like 4 pieces to make normal size bars. I remember seeing him come home with boxes of the stuff tucked under his grimey arms.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Willie G - And the soap was probably sold in the company store and, whether the miners wanted the bars of soap or not, the price of soap was probably taken out of their pay. Gotta love the coal companies!